I guess I understand to a certain extent to what you are saying. I have periods of extreme bouts of anger. My anger stems from things that I have done that I am living with and the instances that I feel that no matter how hard I try, either me or the people that I have hurt suffer again.
Alot of my anger is with myself and alot of times I feel so stupid because of things I have not been able to do or things I try to do with no success.
Little things really get me going, like.....
my car is dirty and it has been sunny for days but I know that as soon as I step outside and wash and wax my car it will rain. *guess what, 9.5 times out of 10, it does!*
Yesterday, nice windy day, I got my daughter and I kites, the wind was really blowing, perfect kite flying day. *got the kites together went outside and you guessed it, off and on wind, kite was on the ground more than in the air*
I know that these are little insignificant things to most people but to me they provoke the anger in my because I wonder why it is that when I try to not be depressed and do things that I know will bring out of it at least for a little while, it most times it works against me. I have alot of anger at myself and the way things go in my life.
The only thing really that keeps me going is the times that actually are wonderful and memorable.