I know exactly where your at and I feel so sad for you. There is nothing that I can say to make it better. People told me time would make it easier but time only numbs the pain, it is always in your heart.
The support group was a good idea if your ready. The one I know the most about is The Comapssionate Friends. I am posting their national web site and on that site there is a link to find local groups.
I know you were a good Mother so please do not blame yourself for what has happened. We have such great hopes for our children but they are our dreams. Our children don't always have the same dreams.
Gentle hugs and prayers for you.
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”