I was just reading your post and it is good to hear some positive comments and that you are feeling better after such a low point. I think it really gives hope to others who are feeling low that you can come out the other end and feel better, even if the depression is not guaranteed to be gone forever.
This forum is such a fantastic place and although I think it is really hard to make the effort when we are feeling very depressed you are right in that it does actually make you feel a little bit better to vent and hear that other people understand. I think it is so sad that for some reason society makes us feel that we have to hide our feelings, even from family and friends when feeling this way. Having done this for many years I have come to the very recent conclusion that what are these people there for if you cannot share your current honest feelings with them. I have done it in the past to 'protect' them particularly my immediate family but now feel that they really should know the reality of my situation and I must say I feel all the better for it. They may be upset and worry about
me but after 20 years of hiding things I have found that they have made some effort to care and understand now that they have the full picture of my life's big ups and downs and that they realise that it is a real illness and not just caused by surrounding issues, although of course these can make things worse and definately don't help. It did make me sad to hear that you felt GUILTY and no right to be upset - OF COURSE YOU DO!!
In fact you sound such a positive force to others and are doing everything in your power to feel better so KEEP VENTING!