Today i have spent just about
all day in tears .The past two days have been particularly hard .
Then this morning i experienced something that i thought i could handle ,The name of one of those who raped me earlier on was mentioned .Instantly i felt this really cold feeling come over me and i have gone to peices .When will all these things stop effecting me like this .If only i could loose my memory then i think i will have peace .There is always something there to remind me of so many things .One woman told me the past is the past and just leave it there but it`s just not that simple i do not consiously want to remember all those horid things but even the mention of one of their names an uncle was enough to set me off .
If i didn`t have the little baby come today i wouldn`t of even got out of bed .Apart from care for him i haven`t done anything even tea tonight was not very nourishing at all .
I thought this afternoon i don`t even remember when i last showered i just have no idea i know it wasn`t yesterday ,i have no idea ,but will go and take one now while i remember .