I've glanced over this forum from time to time to remind me how my husband's depression is difficult for him so that I can find some strength to deal with it. Everyone has been so helpful and supportive and offered great insight.
(Rick, I like your new signature, too... funny, the twins that are due soon are girls, we will have three girls altogether. So the "Daughters" song definitely applies!)
Here's the deal:
Last time I posted, I was in good spirits because my husband was finally going to make an appointment to see a counselor for his depression. I was SO glad that he was (a) finally admitting that his depression was hurting himself and our marriage; (b) that he was open to trying medications to treat his depression; and (c) he (and thus we) were starting the journey of his healing so that he (and we) could be happy.
Well, he did make an appointment. Unfortunately, it was a month before the actual appointment would happen. So I waited patiently and pulled everything within me to stay positive no matter what. I was SO looking forward to hearing how his first appointment would go.
One of his co-workers was in an accident earlier this week. She is fine and only suffered a broken arm. So, he had to fill in for her. HE CANCELLED HIS APPOINTMENT!
I really think he could have either found someone else to fill in, or gone into work early to do what needed to be done and then be able to attend his appointment with the counselor. I tried to discuss these options with him but wasn't successful.
I was SO mad and upset and let down and broke down crying. I asked about the rescheduling and he said, "I didn't reschedule yet." I know it is because "work is busy". This tells me that he is - again - putting work before his personal situation and our marriage. It will be another month before any hope that he will see this counselor. I was really hoping he would go to his first appointment before the twins were born, ideally two appointments.
I feel awful because I haven't spoken to him much in the past 24 hours. But I am SO upset. I made the comment last night that "all the negative things in our life are happening because he is not getting help for his situation". I know it was the wrong thing to say, but with my emotions running up and down with this pregnancy I really could not keep the frustration (from him cancelling his apointment) bottled up.
Should I continue to let him know that this was very disappointing?
Or should I pretend everything is okay?
This is so hard to deal with!!!!!
Post Edited (Really Trying) : 8/3/2007 3:54:55 AM (GMT-6)