Good Morning and I am sorry your feeling so awful.
I had 4 children and I know what you mean, I would sometimes just sit down and cry as I was afraid I might smack one hard as I felt a loss of control. Here I was a Mother that could not control her own children.
Remember this is your mind playing tricks on you, your a good Mom and no one said you had to be the Hallmark Mom, that is only in their greeting cards.
Perhaps you could sit down and write a list of all the positive things about yourself. Stop the negative thinking and when it starts picture a big red stop sign.
I hope this helps you in some small way. Please know we care.
I am here to support you so be kind to yourself.
Gentle Hugs from one Mom to another.
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression
_____________________________________________________"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”