HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Can't stop crying I feel like I am falling apart

Support Forums
>
Depression
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 8/3/2007 2:24 PM (GMT -7)
I have been alone for 3 days and all I do is just cry.  I feel so low and so lonely I just don't know what to do.  I can't get out of this depression.  I see my therapist on Mon but I don't know how I will get thru Sat and Sun.  I know things could be so much worse for me but I just can't tolerate all this lonliness.  It is eating away at me.  I also have lost my appetite and just am not taking comfort in anything.  If anyone has some suggestions I would love to hear from you as my exile is for 3 weeks and since I can't get thru 3 days I don't know how I will get by the next several weeks.  Please somebody answer.  I need to feel better. Thanks.
Posted 8/3/2007 5:49 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Aurora!

I wish I had a magic potion I could recommend, but it's so very hard to hear positive things when you are in the place you're in (I've been there). One thing that I like to do is go to a few movies over the weekend if I'm alone. I don't get to go very often and it's a great escape. Sometimes - depending on the movie you pick - it even lifts the spirit a bit. Renting a movie is fine, but going to the movie and loading up on popcorn and candy and soda and really experiencing the movie can really take you out of your element for a while.

Hope that helps a little bit! I'll be thinking of you and checking in here.

Rick...
Posted 8/3/2007 6:02 PM (GMT -7)
As Aurora said, there is no magic potion or a secret answer out there to make all better. You are going through a rough time, and I have been there before and can relate. As the post above suggests, go out an try to do something fun. It will be tough but doable. Call a close friend and ask them to have a sleepover. Please just don't spend the weekend alone.

Hope it gets better for you soon, hang in there! :-)
Posted 8/3/2007 6:24 PM (GMT -7)
What wonderful advice singer....I agree...anythign to take your mind off the moment at hand when you are feeling low. I also agree with Olivia...cuz she is a sweetie...and it makes sense too! I reach out when I need to.....someone out there loves you, WE certainly do here at hw. Call anyone you like, a friend, a minister , a coworker. But do keep reaching out. I will pray for you, because you matter to me....Annie 
Posted 8/3/2007 6:25 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks Rick and Olivia for your replies.  Your suggestions are good.  I did find a friend to go out to dinner with so that helped.  I have gone to the movies sereral times and that is a good escape.  Now I have seen everything that is decent so I have to wait a week for movies to change.  I think also posting here helps as it is kind of like talking to others.  I really am trying hard and can find enough to do during the day. I fill my days with appts. , grocery shopping, book store etc.  I just need to handle the nightime which is hard.  I don't see well at night so hardly ever drive at night. Hopefully the next week will be easier but if I can't handle it will keep posting.  As long as I get a few replies it helps. Thanks again.

Posted 8/3/2007 6:45 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks Annie.  It helps to know someone cares.  I will keep reaching out even though it can be hard at times. All I can do is try to do my best.

Posted 8/3/2007 8:02 PM (GMT -7)

Dear Aurora

I think we should have a lonely Ladies night out..........of course it could take us a while to get together.  I know that lonely feeling so well and that is why I am online so much.

Please feel free to email me as I will respond.

There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of the Depression Forum  and still being able to be anonymous. If you feel like crying , go ahead as is cleanse the heart and then you can wash your face and get outside in the sun.  Make sure you put your sunscreen on. :)

Get yourself a boxed lunch and go to a lovely park and just people watch.  I loved to sit beside the ocean and watch people.

Give your self a big hug for me and come here and talk, we are here.


 

Posted 8/4/2007 11:24 AM (GMT -7)
Thanks for your reply Kitt.  I still am not doing well today.  I was planning on going out to do some errands and go to my favorite garden shop.  I just got really panicky and feel I can't leave the house today.  I don't know what it is but I do suffer from panic attacks so that is probably what is happening.  Both my sons are away as are most of my friends.  I get scared to leave the house when I know no one is close enough to help me if I get a bad panic attack.  I always feel if someone is in the area I can call on my cell and talk or get help.  I don't know if I will be able to get out tomorrow either but I usually don't go out on Sundays. It is so hard not to have someone to talk to.  I tried calling my old college roommate a while back but she said she was sick and asked me to call another time.  The fact is she sounded drunk or really strung out on something.  I think that is the case as everytime I call her she sounds like she is on something and not all there.  I know she had taken a bad fall down stairs and hurt her shoulder.  I think she may be on pain meds.  Well, it has helped me just to post and get some things off my mind. 

Posted 8/4/2007 12:50 PM (GMT -7)

Hi Aurora,

You know you may give yourself permission to stay home and not beat  yourself up if your safety nets are unavailable to you right now.

I am sorry about your college friend but it sounds like she has some issues of her own to work through so she may not be the best friend.

Can you turn on some light hearted fun music and just listen to the music?

Thinking of you :)

Posted 8/4/2007 12:55 PM (GMT -7)

Aurora,

This winter I started ordering movies from Netflix.  It is so easy.  They have everything that Blockbusters or any of the other popular rental places have.  The movies arrive in the mail; you watch it and put it back in a return postage paid envelope they provide.  The first level is one movie at $8.99, but you watch this one movie, return it, get another one and keep doing this all month long, as many as you want; one movie at a time.  The second level is two movies at a time for $13.99 which means you can have two movies at a time, same deal.  The turn around time is very quick.  You go to their site and preview movies and make your choices.   I finally got up to six movies at a time because I also order movies for the grandkids to watch.  Jackson, my six year old grandson and I have fun previewing movies together.

While you're bored this weekend go to their site and check it out. It's kind of fun previewing the movies.  If you join, you can cancel at any time.

I think I'm going to get myself cleaned up and get out of this house!  If you check out the Netflix site, let me know what you think of it.

Feel better!

Carla

Posted 8/4/2007 1:49 PM (GMT -7)

Thanks for your replies Kitt & Carla.  I should allow myself to just stay in my safety net.  The problem with me is I am too hard on myself.  I don't give myself much margin of error and that is probably why I struggle the way I do.  I have always strived to do my best and not let other people down but I guess I don't realize that I am letting myself down.  I raised my kids by myself and took care of my elderly mother for 10 years and never thought about myself.  I know it is time for me.  I just have to figure this out.

Thanks Carla for the movie suggestions.  I just recently got the 1st season of Cagney & Lacey on DVD which I really like so I have that.  I will check into Netflix as that is a good idea for getting movies.  Thanks both of you for being so helpful and supportive.  It truly means a lot to me. :-)

Posted 8/4/2007 2:49 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Aurora,

I know that it is easier said than done because I've been there. What are your hobbies? What used to be your hobbies? Do you like dogs? Even if you don't have one, I recommend going to a local dog park and just being with dogs. People who love their dogs enough to take them to the dog park are the most wonderful people I've ever met. I have a friend who does not have a dog and she goes to the dog park now. People will ask you which dog is yours and you can just tell them that you don't have a dog but wanted to lift your spirits. The goodness in humans will show it's face to you.

Also, you mentioned a co-dependent relationship with your Mother and it sounds like you need support. Find a local CODA meeting and force yourself to go -- at least try it. As hard as it is, we have to do things outside of our comfort zone during this time.

I hope that you feel better soon. It took me 1 1/2 years of severe depression to find the right meds. I thought it would NEVER end but it did. I have chronic pain so I still get depressed and discouraged but depression can be healed. Never give up.
Posted 8/4/2007 2:57 PM (GMT -7)
Thanks Hopeful - I do have 2 dogs and they are good company only they can't talk. But I do appreciate their company.  My mother passed away so i don't have that responsibility anymore but of course i do miss her terribly even though taking care of her was difficult.  I had her in my home for 10 yrs of which 7 she was bedridden.  I had a caregiver during the day so I could work but I was on call the rest of the time.  I am still struggling to put myself 1st now - it isn't easy when you are so used to doing for others.  I do have meds and a therapist who I will see Mon. so I am holding on until then.  In the meantime I am just reading and watching TV.  Thanks again for your help.

Posted 8/4/2007 3:32 PM (GMT -7)

Hi Aurora

I have the Netflix too and love it. We get the up to 3 movies as my husband likes action and he refers to mine as chick flicks...........but he watches them.  It does let you plan ahead to what you will do in the evening.  I love to read also.

Yes, you need to learn to put yourself first, be selfish.

Bless You.

Posted 8/4/2007 6:56 PM (GMT -7)

Hey Aurora,

I never thought about the CODA meetings for you.  It would be a good fit for you and the situation with your son.  Back in the 90's I went to a lot of Al-Anon and CODA meetings.  I made some long time friendships from those groups.  What happens a lot after you go to a few meetings is that people linger around after the meetings, just chatting and depending on the time of the day, someone may suggest going for lunch or coffee.  Before you know it, you have yourself a support group and some new friends.  They have meetings everywhere.  I think that's a great idea for you.  Please think about it.

I had to force myself to get out of the house for a couple of hours this afternoon because I've been depressed.  I don't feel a great deal better, but I do feel a little bit better.  I'll make myself get out again tomorrow.

Be Happy!

Carla

Posted 8/5/2007 11:40 AM (GMT -7)
Hi Carla,
I don't know what CODA meetings are. I know we have Al-Anon at several places near me but don't you need a relative or friend with a drinking problem to go? Can you just go and show up? Please post and let me know. Also please expain what CODA is. I did poorly this week-end. With the exception of going out to dinner with a friend on FRi night I have been in all week-end. Somehow Sat got over and now it it Sun and I am still feeling so low. I know my younger son will call me tonight when he returns from his trip so I am looking forward to that. Also, I see my therapist tomorrow so I am holding on to see her. And since I know I have to go out to see her I will do several errands so I will be out. During the week is always easier for me. I also volunteer at my local Senior center and tht is a big help. I just need the whole month of Aug. to be over. It is the worst month of the year for me. Thanks Carla!
Posted 8/5/2007 1:17 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Aurora,

CODA stands for codependents anonymous.  Here is the website address:

http://www.codependents.org/

Click on "Am I codependent?"

Even if you don't identify with all of the characteristics, you will meet people who want to grow and you will meet people who want to support you. 

I'm proud of you for volunteering for the Seniors.  Perhaps you can find people who like to garden as well.  Try this"

www.meetup.com

Hope you feel better soon!

 

Posted 8/5/2007 11:42 PM (GMT -7)

Aurora,

Check out the link that Hopeful sent you on CODA.  You should find all the information you need there and hopefully find a meeting in your area.  I think CODA would be the best fit for you.  As far as your question about Al-Anon meetings, they are open to anyone.  If you can not find a CODA meeting in your area, you could attend Al-Anon meetings.  They are both 12-Step meetings.  When you are reading the Al-Anon literature, just replace the word alcohol or alcoholic with whatever issue you are there for.  I bet you will be able to find a CODA meeting.  Let us know what you find out.

Take care!

Carla

Posted 8/6/2007 8:08 AM (GMT -7)

Hi Carla,

There are no CODA meetings anywhere in my area.  But there are lots of Al-Anon meetings I can go to.  And they are close by and easy to get to so I think I will try that.  You are right that it should be a good place to get support from others.  Thanks again for all your help. I feel I can always count on you as well as so many others on this forum.

Aurora

Posted 8/6/2007 11:31 PM (GMT -7)
Aurora,

You are most welcome.  I would give the meeting three chances before giving up on them.  A 12-program is just a good way for anyone to lead their life.  Please let me know how it goes.  Remember, you can always email me if you need to.

Take care!

Carla

Posted 8/7/2007 1:02 PM (GMT -7)
Aurora

Just wanted to let you know I wish you the best and am thinking of you.

As far as Al-Anon (or ACOA - Adult Children of Alcoholics) I went to these meetings years ago when I was first out on my own and my depression returned.

While my parents were not alcoholics, I could relate to the issues and things people talked about. My parents practiced a lot of the same behavior as alcoholics (as many dysfunctional families do), and I also realized I was co-dependent. At the time I couldn't afford therapy and those meetings and the people I met kept me going.

I think it would really help you to attend these meetings. I don't know about you, but when I hear other people say they struggle with the same types of issues I do, it helps me so much.

Take care dear
Posted 8/7/2007 11:21 PM (GMT -7)

Aurora,

Why don't you try to set yourself a goal of attending one of those meetings this week.  What do you think about that?

Take care!

Carla

✚ New Topic ✚ Reply