Good Morning Rick
A new day has dawned and I hope it is a good day for you.
I am glad you had a meaningful conversation with your wife and have put the two choices out there for her to make up her mind. I am wondering if you set a realistic time limit for her to make up her mind about which way to go? I would be careful not to push her to hard but pick a time and stick to it.
The children are very important as they will be confused and scared. It sounds like they are real great kids and are pitching in to help out now. However, many children of divorced families do not manifest problems until they are adults.
If you grew up as a child of divorce, you may find yourself asking: Why am I so afraid of conflict? Why do I have such a fear of commitment? Why am I always waiting for the “other shoe to drop,” even at moments of success? You may be surprised to discover how common these feelings are for children of divorce, especially as they get older.
At this point, I believe that your wife should be involved in working with the children too, as she sould be expected to share the problems and confusion that the children are experiencing.
Sometimes children will behave in a way they think will make Mom and Dad stay together. They will do whatever it takes to be good and make you love them and stay together.
Now, onto you, are you ready for the worse to become a reality?
An important first step will be in recognizing the obstacles you are likely to encounter and the choices you must make, so that the pathway out of divorce need not be one of dissolution but one of healing and ultimate fulfillment.. I know you are trying not to think about divorce as a reality, but keep some thoughts on the back burner on how you will make it through if this is the final outcome.
For the time being, I believe that you are on the right track, but taking care of you is your number one job because if you fold, it looks like the family will crumble at your feet.
You have my support and gentle hugs. (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))