I don't post much on HW, old time member, but still read time to time..
Listen to what the others are telling you about
your male friend. Maybe in afew days, come back and re-read their advice...It will make more sense to you.
If you feel you're emailing him too much, then you probably are. Also, why are you waiting for him to encourage you? Why not take control instead of letting him decide? Do you put this much effort and concern into your girl friends? Really just seems that you're putting alot of energy into a friendship with a man who has told you and shown you in actions that he needs space and doesn't want any drama. Sorry to sound harsh, I don't mean to sound cruel, my intentions are heartfelt.
Focus your energy on your husband, get to marriage counselling and make your marriage better. Whatever is missing from your marriage, some needs that aren't being met, is probably why you're seeking it from your male friend.
Maybe in time, you and your friend will talk again, and if that happens, it might be a good idea to get to know his girlfriend, be her friend too, that way she doesn't feel threatened by the friendship and won't feel like she has to compete with you. Also, include your husband, let him meet your male friend so HE doesn't feel left out. Who knows, maybe all four of you will become buddies.
Again, I am sorry if I sound harsh.
One more thing I'd just like to add. You said "I keep thinking, would he give up on me if he was really a friend?" My response to that is, if he has to choose between friendship with you and his girlfriend, he's going to pick his girlfriend. Just like you'd choose your husband over friendship with him (I hope!) if your H asked you to end it.
Good luck and keep posting.