First of all, welcome to the Depression board. You will find people here very sympathetic and very willing to share their insights with you.
Just a few hints when making a post. It is much easier for board members to read your post if you break things up into paragraphs. We don't mind long posts, but it is much easier to structure responses to your questions and thoughts if things are broken up in chunks, and punctuation is always a plus.
Now for your situation. Becoming dependant on the support of a male who is not your husband isn't really a good idea. It seems that your "friend" has had to back off because of his relationship with his girlfriend. You were pushing his limit, competing for his time. Basically, after a period of time, he had to choose between supporting you emotionally or honoring his girlfriend's wishes. From the saga you explained, you have become quite territorial with this friend. He chose his girlfriend, and you have not been able to graciously let him go.
You are still protesting this "dismissal", fighting to keep in contact with him. Sending a card to him just screams of your unwillingness to accept his decision. The deceptive way you explained what you wanted to do regarding the card, shows a complete inability to respect his wishes. Just face it. He had a choice, you lost, and you are mad as hell about it. You have no control over him, and it bugs the heck out of you.
If you can't transfer this need of support back to your husband, I would suggest some marital counseling. Your husband may be tuning you out now, possibly because he sensed of all the effort you put into contact with your "friend". You questioned what a "friend's" behavior should be, but your were expecting way too much attention from this other man.
You mentioned that none of the fertility specialists could explain why you haven't been able to have a baby. I sincerely doubt they couldn't give you a basic diagnosis. Perhaps you just didn't want to hear what they had to say. It doesn't sound like you have much of a relationship with your husband, and maybe the tension had something to do with things not working normally. A lot of people end up pregnant soon after they stop working so hard to conceive. I believe that GOD sometimes intervenes in this kind of situation, only allowing things proceed once the environment is right. Just my opinion.
I hope that some of this has been helpful to you. I recognize that sometimes I see some things as very black or white. I have given you the best insight I can, and I hope you don't take anything I've said negatively. It was not intended that way.
Let us know how things are going.
- On Disablility for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ
- Divorced, 42, no children
- Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(four molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals)
- Current Meds: Lexapro, Klonopin, Wellbutrin, Migranol, Trazadone, Buspar, Nexium, Skelaxin, Phenergan, Chantix, Iron Pills, PROHIBITED FROM ALL NSAIDS
- Current Problem: Internal Bleeding, possible ulcer in location of Gastric Bypass
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