Hey chico, Your most welcome for the responses. It does sound like your wife is having a difficult time with menopause, thyroid problems which can most certainly trigger depressive symptoms. I am glad to hear she is seeing a psychiatrist for treatment of depression.
It is very understandable how difficult it is to be in a relationship with someone who is depressed. I have had depression for a very long time, was in a long term relationship with a guy for 11 years, 5 of those we were married. We did have some intense arguments and said hurtful/harmful things to each other. Two years into our marriage I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis so that added to matters of course. I took more medication and was more moody I guess, things in our relationship had certainly changed and I wasnt able to be as active as I was before which upset him.
He was of the mind that he could fix me, my depression, my MS. He didnt think I needed to be taking all the medication I was because he didnt see it helping. Thing was that his constant what I felt was disapproval was what was bringing me down more. When I tried to tell him that what he was doing wasnt helping it was hurting he never heard it, never heard me. It really just got to the point where I couldnt and wouldnt talk to him about anything. I shut down and eventually moved out, filed for divorce.
I had to learn to heal myself and deal with my issues in a constructive manner. I dont know if I could of done that with him or not. It has been 3 years and I am in so much of a better place mentally and physically even though I have been diagnosed with another neurological disorder.
You may not be the best at communication but I give you props for admitting when your wrong and apologizing. There are so many men out there who dont. I dont know that you have to change so much as learn about the disease, be patient and try to keep in mind that you are indeed in this together so support each other. Maybe take her out to dinner one night and discuss how you both need to approach this and communicate with one another. Hang in there and know we are always here for you.