Hi everyone just a question from me!
Do any of you ever wake up and just know the day ahead is gonna be horrible and you just feel rubbish...for no reason at all :s
I woke up this morning and I just felt rubbish edgy and upset from the word go.
I got up yesterday and went swimming with my boyfriend I had a good time at the time and really enjoyed myself. But now when I think back on the occassion I think 'Well did I have a good time?' 'and other doubts like that! Its so silly as I know I actually had a good time but I still question it.
Anyway we went home and all of a sudden I just started being angry and horrible to him! To be honest he never did a thing wrong, infact he was making a real effort with me y/day but I couldn't help it. I don't want to be horrible to him and I feel upset about it but I just do it.
Then at night we were watching a film which was quite sad and at the end I started crying, but this wasn't your normal crying at a film, I was in hysterics I stopped and started and stopped and started and in the end I couldn't breath and my eyes were red and puffy for near enough an hour after..I don't know what made me that bad!
I am just in a weird position just now I analyse everything, find faults with everything and no matter how much of a good time etc I have I doubt myself and end up thinking the doubts are the reality if that makes sense. I spoil what good times I do have and the rest usually are bad.
I went for a college interview last week and I felt so edgy and anxious and scared. This time last year when I went for one I was never like that. i could hardly breath and felt like crying.
I was speaking to the boy who works in my local shop this morning, even though I was in a bad mood this morning and feeling cr*p i was nice to him, as I am to all strangers, but why am I so horrible to my bf and family.
I really don't like me right now :(