As a guy who's been married for 27 years come next week, I think I know a couple things about
what it takes to make a relationship work. Here's my list that might help you have the same thing too:
1st: Make sure the first thing you think about when you get up in the morning is what "you" can do today that will show your partner how much he/she's loved. Whatever you do, don't ask, what the other person had better do to make "you" happy, or you're halfway down the road to nowhere.
2nd: Relationships are not about what you "get" out of it, but what you give. When both people live that way, it's so easy to enjoy life together, it's almost funny. When I hear those horrible words, "She just isn't making me happy any more," I want to go, "well why should he/she?" Good relationships are about giving, never what we got.
3rd: Relationships are not about ownership, but about sharing. If a partner requires constant attention all the time. If he/she needs to always know what you're doing, or if you can't take a vacation without him or her, then once again you're halfway down the wrong road. I just got back from Cabo San Lucas Mexico where I spent a month with my dad and my wife loved every minute of it, even though she stayed home. We used web-cam communication most days so we'd be in touch, but we did vacation apart and that's o.k., at least for relationships that are secure. It's only those who are terrified the other is going to do something they don't approve of that gets things headed the wrong direction.
4th: If you don't trust your partner 100% of the time over everything, then find someone else. Relationships are about being true in heart, in body and even the checkbook. If you can't trust the other with all the above, get out fast, but if you can, then you're headed the right way.
And finally, remember that children fight, adults just disagree and wow is there a difference. I can't tell you the last time I really said a bad word to my wife, but of course why would I want to, when I really do love her so much? When you're dealing with screaming and terror all the time, then I assure you that you'll never know anything else.
Loving is so easy, it really is, but love as adults not as a child and I promise you too will have 27 plus years of really enjoying the ride under your belt just like we have. Bob.
After an accident in 1997 crushed the nerves in my pelvis, halfway down the calf and at the fibular head (knee), my left leg slowly started to turn color from the foot up, along with swelling and temp change. Within 2 weeks I was diagnosed with RSD. Within 6 months, I had purple, red and some black area's almost to the knee area. By 1999 I landed in a wheelchair and started a life taking narcotics all the time.
In 2004 I got an Intrathecal morphine pump, and I just got it replaced around a year ago, so now I'm on my 2nd model.
5 years ago the RSD spread to my right leg and has done around 80% of the damage it did to my left leg in half the time.
1 1/2 years ago I went septic, and the infection did go body-wide. After 2 days in the hospital I then had a clot in my lungs. Both should have killed me, but this time I got lucky. Meanwhile I've been battling blood clots for the last 4 years.
Last fall the doctor's decided I needed to have both legs amputated above the knee's, but I decided I could only handle one at a time, so I went with the left leg since that one is a little worse off. The right leg is now black all the way to the knee.
I haven't slept in a bed for over 12 years and have instead accepting the fact that I can only sleep in a chair upright. Since I'm in RSD Phase III, it's still progressing, but I refuse to go on a pity party because those who do, party alone. Thanks to a wife of 27 years and great family and friend support, I'm only half nuts half the time.
Guess that about say's it all. Bob.