Oh Bronzewatch, reading your post makes me feel like I'm reading an old journal entry of mine or something. I definitely know how you feel.
I HATED High School. More than anything ever. I was so disappointed because everyone said it was supposed to be the best years of your life, and everyone else seemed like they were having a great time except me. I have pretty bad social anxiety and an embarrassing digestive disease which also contributed to the fear and pain of it all. Kids that age can be cruel and rude and thoughtless. I think it's especially hard being a girl because let's face it, girls can just be downright mean! I've never cried so much in my life than I did in high school. I developed serious depression and had a lot of harmful thoughts and actions that I now regret because it seemed to isolate me further and make things worse. But you know what? It isn't forever. I made it out okay and you will too. And I never see any of the people I knew from high school anymore and when I do, we just exchange hellos and that's it. Everyone who hated me or made fun of me is completely insignificant now, and most of the time, they even let it go and be nice after! It's weird.
As for the not having a boyfriend thing- you're still young! And you're NOT weird! It's strange to me that people are already kissing and having sex at 13 or younger, most girls haven't even gotten their periods yet by then!!! I didn't have a "boyfriend" till I was about
15 and even then I didn't consider it a real relationship or anything and didn't even hug them, haha. And every high school relationship I had ended in hurt feelings anyway. It's really not that great! I mean it can be fun and all but don't worry yourself so much over it, high school boys are jerks. You will find someone who likes you for you and treats you how you deserve.
The most important thing is to hang in there and finish high school! It really is important; not so much the learning thing because honestly, I don't remember anything educational from high school!! But getting that silly piece of paper can make all the difference in the world unfortunately.
Just hold your head high and keep telling yourself "These people do not matter and it will be over soon enough." That helped me through tough times sometimes. You will have some low points and some high points in school and it will be hard. The drama is really annoying and if you can distance yourself from it at all times that is best, but sometimes it's unavoidable. People will say hurtful things but it does not mean anything, just because they say something does not mean that is who you are! Don't let them get to you because it will always get better, if you give it the chance to. I am so glad I never acted on my darkest thoughts because there is so much to life after high school, high school is just a silly step that we have to take for building social skills or something (fat lot of good that did me!).
Female, 22, Ulcerative colitis (pancolitis) since 1999; GERD; gastritis; oste
openia in hip & lumbar region of spine from long term prednisone useCurrent Meds:
40 mg Citalopram (for depression/social anxiety)
10meq Potassium Cl
Caltrate Bone & Colon Health- 600 mg calcium + 400 IU of vitamin D
Vitamin B-12 Supplement