Hi Rehab, I am so sorry for all your going through. I moved in with my mom and her new husband of 6 months...3 years ago when seperated from my husband. I have had MS for 6 years. At the time I moved in I started to look for a house and apartments but got caught up in the divorce which turned out to be nasty even though we didnt have kids. So I stayed with my mom longer then I expected.
Then to my dismay one day I just fell sick...passed out in the living room. After being in the hospital for several weeks, having to get a pacemaker for bradycardia (hr was in the 20's) and extremely low blood pressure. Doctors found that I had an autonomic disorder. So, my brief stay at mom's turned into 3 yrs. It was rocky at first and getting used to having very limited space and next to no privacy was a killer. But that was what I had to do at the time to get by and make the best of the situation.
To me it does sound as if you need to speak to your mother about how she talks to your kids. I would set some boundries with her and let her know that even though you are living there you are still their mother and you will be the one who punishes them if they need it. Perhaps that will take some stress off of you and her...maybe?
I would think your best bet would be to file for disability now. Your living with your parents and have no income. If you start to work and have applied they will deny any claim you have filed. It is a long hard road but there are quite a few people who have applied and been approved on their first try. All you can do is see what happens...