Hi Up & Down, It sounds like it is possible that you are depressed. Crying a lot and being moody could be signs of depression. it might help to talk more with your counselor and learn more of what is going on. Relationships are tricky and can cause you to feel depressed or uneasy. You will have lots of support on this forum. Everyone here is so helpful and wish you only the best. Maybe write some more posts and get your feelings out and that may help you. Try not to take your feelings out on your child. A child doesn't know what is wrong and may feel they are being punished. I know this is easy to say but I think if you can talk to us here on the forum you may find some answers. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. We care.
Thank you for your response. I wouldn't say I'm crying a lot just once in a while (out of the blue). One day in the car with my friend, he said something funny and I laughed but then it turned into tears. Another day I was reading a book and there was a sad part and I wanted to cry and cry. I don't feel it was the story that made me want to cry that much. Then one day at work (last week) I felt irritated about
something stupid. My mother called me about
something else and I discussed what I was feeling with her - didn't feel like I was going to cry while talking to her but when I hung up the phone the tears were there. I went in to my boss's office and the tears just wouldn't stop. It doesn't feel like a 'normal' cry. It feels a little out of control. I wanted to stop crying but I couldn't stop it, I couldn't suck it back.
I divorced in 2005 (husband was cheating...not for the first time). I went to a counselor twice after the divorce because I felt like a huge failure. I met someone new in 2006. Everything was good until the one year mark and then I started feeling insecure. I'm not a very secure person anyway. I have terrible trust issues. I went back to the counselor four more times this year. One of those times my boyfriend went with me. It's just been the last two weeks that my emotions feel out of control.
My daughter is my world. The past two weeks I've not been as patient as I should with her and I know it's not her fault. Example when I comb her hair in the morning and she's not sitting still I raised my voice and said sit still! No reason to do that and then I felt so bad. I'm counting to 10 now so I don't raise my voice with her for no good reason. She is such a good girl.
I just want to find the root of these emotions.