Well here I am almost a month since my "nap" and I am trying to figure out whether or not I feel better. I am taking so many meds that I wonder if I will truly ever be able to enjoy my life w/o all of the meds. Believe me I know how important they are and that depression is going to be a part of my life forever. I guess the problem I have is that every day is the same thing, day after day, noone to really spend time with, worrying about how long my car is going to run, will i have rent money for the next month will the things that I have so much faith in be a reality.
I think that I am depressed just as much as I was last month but the meds are obviously giving me enough thought process to reason through negative images or thoughts that come into my head. The thing that scares me is will I snap again because of the loneliness I feel every day? This is what truly scares me because of my "robotic" thought processes that I had on that day.
There are so many things going on in my life that are just as devastating now as they were then.
I just keep telling myself that if I am patient good things will happen and the things I hope for will be. I just am tired of waiting day after day after day.
I dont know, just feel alone and sad alot.
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.