I don't think I've ever been properly diagnosed. Docs say its depression and anxiety, but I don't know. Sometimes, when I wake up, I am in a very dark place. Its like I feel like im a bad person. Ive done bad things in my life that I am ashamed of and I feel guilty over but these are things I did in my teens, Im 30 now, I would never do those things now for I know how much I could hurt people. Nevertheless I am plagued with guilt. This dark feeling I get is weird, its scary, its like a world inside myself without love. Its like the opposite of love. Also, I isolate myself most of the time and when Im out people always ask me why I look so down. I could be in an ok mood but people still ask why I look so angry. So when Im in public I feel like I have to force a smile, cause one rarely comes naturally. My only social interactions are dates from dating lines and my mom occasionally. I want to be normal. The only way I can find happiness is to hide in my house, overeat and watch movies.
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Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 10/1/2007 4:57:59 AM (GMT-6)