This past week has been absolutely terrible; The nightmares have gotten so much worse that I'm afraid to g to sleep. They were usually about people "losing faith" in me and people I love turning against me. Today, after school, I fell asleep on the couch and had a dream that I was burned at the stake because I was a "witch." And there were others about me being assaulted, by a young man in his 20s and a very muscular female. But that wasn't the worst part....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but when I tried to wake, I couldn't. I was alert, but I couldn't move. I managed to open my eyes a little, and you could never imagine what I saw. I had literally seen Death (or the Grim Reaper). I was TERRIFIED; I thought I was dead.
Well, anyway, reality hasn't been that great either. Because of everything going on, I guess you can say my grades haven't been up to par. I'm practically failing Science and that basically adds wood to the fire. I pulled my friend aside at the begining of 4th period to let some anger out. Unfortunetly I said some things I didn't mean and my Literature teacher overheard. She pulled me out of class and demanded me to tell her what was wrong. I started having a panic attack, the worst one yet, and asked her if I could go to the bathroom and calm down. She refused to let me do anything until I told her. She was completely uncompassionate, and, thanks to my English teacher, she knows all about my condition.
Apparently, they discuss the things I tell them with each other, after I had asked my English teacher to promise me she would't tell my Literature teacher. But of course, I can't trust anyone, now can I? The Literature teacher thinks it's my grades that are making me feel this way (it isn't, but it's just adding more stress) She told my English teacher this, and they acted like I had wasted there time.
They're also having an intervention with me tommorow...They're bringing in the counselor, my mother, the two teachers, and the principal to get to the root of the problem.
I'm basically on edge and afraid I'm going to do something stupid. There's no way out of this and I have no idea what to do. I had an episode last night where I could have possibly harmed myself, but I didn't. I couldn't do it at home. I don't want to sound like a crybaby but I just have no idea what to do. Do you guys have any advice?