Depressed

I want you to remember that this is just my opinion on what I think might be happening. I am a little puzzled because in reading your post, a couple times you say that you do not have a good relationship and then you say you do.  The impression I get from that is that your happiness depends on how he is feeling or doing.  Although I know that it is hard you must decide if this relationship is healthy for you.  Are you always walking on egg shells? If your answer is yes, I would seriously consider the relationship and what you get out of it.

That is the hardest thing to do but if you want to get better, depression included, you must "soul-search" and really listen to what you are saying.  Intuition is usually right on.

As far as him being distant, it sounds to me as if he was trying to do that when you guys were together by working or fighting.  There could be a lot of reasons he is pulling from you.  Could be the depression or other circumstances that you cant control.

If he will sit with you have a heart to heart with him and tell him to tell you the truth no matter what.

I wish you luck.

Hello all,

           I am sort of in the same boat as Sweet.  I am in my second marriage and have come to realize that if she doesn't want it to work it won't and that my happiness seemed to come from her and not myself or my two children I have custody of.  My depression seems to be getting worse as I get closer to the D-day.  I am always sad now as I still have strong feelings for this woman.  I am taking 45mg Remeron to help me sleep and with the depression of a failed second marriage and being alone again, even though both have cheated on me.  I know I should be happy I have my kids, but they only fullfull so much in you.  I hope that is not a horrable statement to make.  I am also taking Lorazepam 1mg 3 times a day for anxiety.  But there are times when I still can't sleep and find myself crying more and more the closer the day gets.   I should be greatful I have my two children and am trying to let go of her and concentrate on them.  But I find myself trying to hold onto to something that doesn't want to be held onto. 

          I am afraid of ending up in a hospital and afraid of this affecting my job.  This isn't the first time I have been on medication.  I don't know what to do when the extra anxiety kicks in and the medication seems to be overwhelmed or quits working.   I have always had extreme anxiety growing up.  And the more the life altering event it is the higher level of anxiety. 

          I don't know if there is a question in here somewhere but, the remeron helps me get to sleep, but I wake up earlier and the depression is getting worse.   How do I make a break from my feelings?  Atleast this time I'm not losing weight and that part of the Remeron is working, but the depression this time around is worse.  How do I tackle this?  Thx in advance

Eagle