A few years ago I went through surgery to correct ulcerative colitis. I had my large intestine removed. A side effect from this surgery is that I have a tough time achieving and maintaining an erection. I got married a couple years ago to my longtime girlfriend. I was really depressed for a while due to the sickness, the side effect, and the fact that I had lost my job due to being away from work too long. My wife and I have had trouble since we were married communicating. I have improved psycologically, my wife has not. We have gone to couples counceling, she has gone on her own. She is very depressed because she feels I am not the same person I was when we first met. When we met, I was a 21 year old college student with no responsibilities, and no maturity. I'm now 29 and have a great deal due to work and other things. I'm not generally happy, and her not being happy does not help this. I made an effort to go out more, and do more things, even though it is difficult for me due to my health. I have to deficate more than an average person. I am afraid we are headed towards divorce. I don't know if she just needs to grow up, and understand that things change, or if I'm the problem. If anyone has any suggestions, I would invite them.