I hate my life

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 11/12/2007 3:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Okay so I really am starting to hate my life, actually its nothing new. But im really depressed right now and for the past week or so. Last night I let out some frustration and broke my cell phone in half, that was smart! Felt good though...lol
So I get depressed about alot of things, I basically compare myself to others and determine that Im a loser. I feel okay when im by myself but going out in public, especially fun places like bars or clubs really sets me off. I cant stand being around happy sucsessful, confident people, I am none of those and I hate being reminded of it.
I feel worthless, I havent had a real girlfreind in about 10 years now, only a few flings that last a week or so. Im 27 and have only had a few sexual experiances, all of which have been huge let downs. I have serious performance anxiety and as soon as a girl realizes that, they leave. Which only adds to the anxiety the next time. Im assuming there wont be a next time. Im actually a really nice fun guy, so attracting girls is not that bad, just keeping them is impossible, I should just lye and say im a virgin, but even then, most would hit the road...lol
This year Ive also developed Panic Disorder, which just further confirms that fact that im not like everyone else. But ive been dealing with it pretty well.
But im in a hole... I feel so misreble and depressed to even get myself out. Ive tryed reaching out to my best freinds, but they seem weirded out. Like they dont really get whats bothering me. Its almost impossible now for me to have a good attitude about things. They try taking me out to "let go" and have fun. But I cant even do that, I CANNOT LET GO. I would LOVE TO!!! But I just think more and more about what a failure I am and down the spiral I go.
I dont know what to do. I dont have insurance right now to see a counselor, but I will starting in feburary. But in the mean time, I just want to be a differant person. I want to be normal.
Thanks for listening, most people wont.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 11/12/2007 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi there,

Im sorry that you are feeling so low at the moment. Do you take any meds for depression or anxiety/panic? Is there any way you can get financial aid to start your councilling earlier than Feb? I know how it feels to be diagnosed with something that makes you different to everyone else, but if we are all unique... are we not all different to each other anyway? Try thinking about it like that and it might not seem quite as bad or 'freakish'. Have you considered joining a group/club/society? Not neccessarily a sport, but just something you are interested in?


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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/13/2007 8:03 AM (GMT -6)   

I am sorry that you are going through this...depression is so hard.

I agree with Darren,joining a group that interests you..just something that you can relax and enjoy yourself.

Relationships are so hard. Anxiety or not. And I really think that once you get to a point to where you are ok with you,then you will find that the relationships will come easier.
Also,finding that one person that does not care about the performance anxiety will be a big plus. There are women out there that want to find a serious relationship so they will love you no matter what.
You are still very young,and you have alot of life yet,.you will find that person.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,

Have been med free for 2 years now.


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