humm... that is really a therapy question but realize she walked away from that conversation thinking that you (husband) thinks that she (wife) is a poor sexual partner (I don't know your wife but after what happened don't expect sex within the next month at the very least, and consider yourself lucky if you get it in six).... so you are going to have to court her and you are both going to have to do some therapy about
this...Because this is a core safety issue and you are going to have to win her trust back
You both have alot of personal growth issues to deal with (you seem to hide behind logic...from your post example...well with logic can hide a lack of emotional depth/maturity=lack of safety/consideration for those around you) and if these issues are not dealt with now they will resurface in future times/in other relationships
But some basic stuff let her know that you are thankful for her presence in your life and show her bring her flowers (not a grand gesture, just something to let her know you are thinking about her), kiss her hands (non-threating area-most especially if she brings you something!), and most importantly expect nothing in return for this behavior ...perhaps she will wonder why and just say "I thought you might enjoy them" (make sure you say might with no emphasis here, because if you say "would" that is an order..might is an entreaty)
depression eats at the core of who you are and society reinforces this, my one recomendation is that if you are nothing else be her soft place to fall...she might need unconditional positive reguard from you right now, but then again don't we all need uncondtional positive reguard sometimes... especially from those we love...
Perhaps the story of "johnny lingo and his eight cow wife" might help...so might want to google that
I will add one more thing please don't blame this on her depression, given the situation that you cited any woman (even ones who do not stuggle with depression) would have had a negitive response to your action/approach.
I really feel uncomfortable saying anything more...this is a theraputic issue