negative thoughts -- serious depression???

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/18/2007 2:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello. This is my first post. Here is a little intro and some background. English is not my native language so I beg your pardon in advance for any langauge mistakes . I will give my best shot at describing my mental condition.
I am 24 years old guy. I am from Karachi, Pakistan. I am not sure if I am suffering from depression or not but symptoms are there for whatever I have read online about depression. I am confused about this. Please tell me if my behaviour is fine for a normal person. I am physically and mentally tired. I feel no energy in my body. I am overweight. I have not completed my university degree because all of this condition and negative thoughts that keep hitting my temples. I feel myself a loser, a burden on the society. I have no friends. The thoughts about my mother's death, i really miss her, keep hitting my temples to an extent that I have to SHOUT loudly. My head feels like "a bomb is being designed and ready to explode and will tear my brain apart". I think a lot about the future of my sisters who are now mental patients. as I believe, all of them.
Please advice me what I should do now. I have no one to share my feelings with. My dad is 70 years old. He does not have a friendly relationship with me. And I am unable to discuss my feelings with him. We as a family have been cut off by our cousins, aunts and uncles. So we are alone. Totally screwd up family!
family background:
1. My oldest sister has been a mental patient for 15 years. She had a boyfriend and her relationship was broken up. After that, she had created a lot of problems for us. I need to write a 400 page book for describing what stuff she had done at home. For a quick idea, her mental condition was as twice bad as of that Russell Crowe in a hollywood movie: The beautiful mind. She even got a treatment in the USA but no avail, she is currently being hospiltalized at a local hospital. She had shouted a lot and behaved very wildly after the death of our mother who died in 2005. She has been hospitalized there ever since.
2. My other  two sisters (32, 34) ages respectively who do not talk each other. They are locked up in their rooms and they THINk, THINK, THINK, THINK, and shout loudly and curse some alien women in their rooms. They need counseling as well but I dont know how to approach them - I feel scared. I dont know how they would behave agaisnt me. They just wake up on time for eating lunch and dinner otherwise they lie down on their beds. I am the one who cook food sometimes or clean up the house or their rooms otherwise my DAd does.
What about my future career, life, and what about future and career of my siizters? lying down on their beds, thinking, and more thinking is not life! how long will it continue?
Please point me in the right direction. Thanks for reading!

Post Edited (depressiveboy) : 11/18/2007 12:32:45 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 11/19/2007 12:01 AM (GMT -6)   

Welcome to HW! I am glad you found this place. It's great and you can get a lot of support here.

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through with your family, your mom, sisters, and dad. I know everything can be a lot to handle. I can tell that you are having a hard time handling it as well. You sound a bit depressed, but you sound more confused to me than anything.

I can understand that. I stay confused myself. I have depression, anxiety, and panic. I go to a counselor once a week, it works while I am there, but it hasn't helped me like I want it to. But, I dont take any medication either.

I am sure others will be along to help you more than I can. I hope you can get the help you are looking for, for both you and your sisters. 

You are always welcome to share your feelings here. Its what we are here for. So, feel free to express yourself. I am sure the others will be along to help you as well. This place is very warm and helping.

Take care.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 11/19/2007 6:08 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there and Weome to HealingWell,

I too am sorry to hear that you are having so many problems... both personally and within your family. Have you spoken to a doctor about any of this? It sounds like you do need treatment and its not something that will go away on its own. You are more than welcome to talk here as much as you want. Perhaps you might find something useful in our resource section as well.

All the Best


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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/19/2007 6:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks. I can talk to doctors but there is a problem....if depression is diagnosed and they put me on meds...then I think I am going to take them forever....extra money burden...right?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 11/19/2007 7:51 AM (GMT -6)   

The first thing you need to do is focus on getting better.
Then you can worry about what to do about the meds after you are better.
Just because you start taking anti depressants that does not mean you will be taking them forever. I took several kinds for about 10 years,and have been med free now for 2 years.

Once you are feeling better,and then finish your college degree,and then get out of the situation with your family,then your outlook on life I am sure will be alot better.

You have alot of stress at home,and that I am sure contributes to most of your depression.
Please contact your doctor right are so young and have your whole life ahead of you... finishing your college degree and making your own life.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,

Have been med free for 2 years now.

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