Hi trapped, Were you feeling this way and having these thoughts while you were on Paxil? Why did your doctor change your meds? Please know that when a person changes from one antidepressant to another there are a lot of different chemical changes that occur within the brain. Behaviors that you may not of had before could start while changing meds. However, just like your choice to treat your depression (which is a good step) you also have to work to maintain mental health aside from the medication. It's difficult I know...most especially when you have these recurring thoughts.
It really sounds as if Lexapro isnt the right med for you or perhaps your doctor needs to do some adjustments with it....Please call your doctor and let them know what is going on.
And know that we all are here for you, stay strong.