Hi there IDK21 and Welcome to Healingwell,
I wanted to start by welcoming you into our 'family'. I hope that you find all the support and love that you need here.
I understand how you feel as I have (and still do) suffer from depression myself and also have experience of other people with depression. I can assure you, as Andrew has said, that the way you feel is not that uncommon. It does sound like depression is a distinct possibility here and I would recommend that you have a medical professional take a look and get thier opinion regarding treatment. One thing I do know is that alcohol is not the answer. Many people associate alcohol with the good feeling they get when they drink but often forget that alcohol (specifically ethanol) is a depressant drug. Alcohol makes depression worse.
Please seek professional help with this and please keep talking to us.