I just wanted everyone to know that I am ok. The last couple months have been extremely difficult for me partly due to my own insecurities and stupidy. The other is a family illness which has totally devasted me. For the first time in my life I am faced with losing someone that I love so much. My sister is dying of brain cancer and I did not realize how much it would effect me. Here I thought that I had a heart of stone when it come to letting things hurt me but recently I have realized that my heart is breaking and I feel alone.
I did go on a cruise with my sister a couple weeks ago. It was my first cruise and I was glad that I got to spend it with her. During the trip I had periods of tears alone and away from her so that she could not see
They say that you should cherish the important things in your life and I thought I had but I was wrong. This has been a new awakening for me, I have had them before but this is so surreal.
I will look at life different and I will make changes that I said I would for me and those I love. I want to try to see my sister again soon. Pray for me as much as you can.
This Christmas is going to be awful with no family, finances or someone to watch the ball drop on New Years Eve.
If I dont get on before Christmas, know that I wish you a happy holiday and New Year.
You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves
your arms too full to embrace the present.