what do i do
wait for her - 0.0%
move on - 100.0%

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 12/19/2007 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I need some advise what to do. Back in oct my gf broke up with me on our 8 month anni . it came out of the blue. She said that things were moving to fast and she needed a break to be by her self. B4 me she was in a bad relationship that lasted 6 yrs not all were bad just towards the end. Then almost a rite away we started going out. So i understood why she wanted that I was ok with that . till two weeks later when I was over herhouse to talk about us when the phone rang she picked it up and went into the other room I instantly knew it was another guy it felt likea atom bomb went off inmy chest. She confirmed that she did meet someone. Im tring to frget about her but I cant no matter what I do. I still love her sooo much. I loved her more than anything else in my life she was the first and last thing I thought about EVERY day. I don’t just love her because she was my first love she nade me feel good about who I was for the first time in my life.
Littlebit about my life before her. All growing up I never had any friends who would asked me to hang out or do something. They actednice to my face but when my back was turned it was a diff story. The kids all made fun of me.Girls never talked to me. When I did get enough courage to ask a girl out they either laughed or said yes and gave me a wrong number then laugh at me the next day. One of those girls was in my home room in high school. I had to see her for three years every morning as a reminder. So I just gave up trying and stayed to my self for the remainder my time in hs . even though I was on the swim team I never felt part of a team. I thought when I got to college things would change but they didn’t the same ****ing things happened or didn’t happen. I did meet some ppl but they only would do stuff if I asked them and that wasonly once and a while I got a lot of excuses .I got a job working at a night club.i thought that things were finally looking up. But I was wrong the same. The girls weren’t inrested in me they wanted the bartender. I did ask for a few numbers but wrong numbers,.
Shortly after the break up she called me she had abad night at work she was balling her eyes out.i reluctantly answered the phone.two weeks after that I broke my hand at work. Shortly after that she called me asking me to bring her to the er because she couldn’t stop throwing up of course because I care about her so much I showed up. While we were in the er the new bf was sending text messages every five mins .everytime I heard her phone beep I felt like someone was hitting me with a baseball bat in the chest. I had nothing but time on my hands for six weeks I could not work. A kid who has worked 6 days a week for a yr and half straight. I tried tostay busy but it was tought. I had way too much time on my hands to think which made things worse.
Recently I had a complete melt down. So I went to my dr to see if he could help. He gave me some meds which started to work but I melted down even worse than b4 I threatened to kill my self the cops came but decided that i was not a risk of injuring my self. But after talking with my dr the next day he told me to got to the er for crisis consouling . I did. They refered me to shrink. They gave me more and stronger meds. Thatbrings me to today I don’t know what to do with her I still love her. I cant move on.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42528
   Posted 12/19/2007 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
The only advise that I can come up with is the old saying, If you love something, let it go. If it is meant to be it will come back to you. If not, then you need to move on.
Remember, other people cannot control your moods. It wasn't her that made you feel better, it was youself. Give yourself some credit. You are a wonderful person.
Maybe you were just meant to be friends. That isn't so bad is it. You care about her so you want what is best for her. And sometimes a relationship can ruin a friendship.
Give her the space and time she asked for. People always want what they can't have, that is human nature. Maybe if you aren't so available, she will want you that much more.
But if she honestly wants space, I would let her have it, she might need to clear up that other relationship before she can move on with you.
I wish you the best.
getting by
fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, clinically depressed and allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/19/2007 7:35 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to Healing Well.

I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot right now, but I have to agree with gettingby, sometimes you just have to let someone go and move on.

IMHO she is using you for a conveince when she needs someone to take care of her.  You need to set boundaries, IMHO, and stick to them.  There must be someone else she can call on if she needs favors.

Please follow up with your Pdoc and continue your medication.  The AD meds will take up to 4-6 weeks to kick in.  Therapy to help you work on your self esteem would be something you may need to move forward.

Please take care of you and keep on posting here. There are many caring people here.



Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 12/20/2007 4:32 AM (GMT -6)   

I agree as well. I dont think there is much that I can really say that has not already been said, but it definately sounds like it is time to let go as you risk running yourself into the ground and making yourself ill as well. Are you able to take a vacation? Perhaps changing your phone number might be a good idea if it is a problem when she keeps ringing you.

Keep your head up, and your eyes open.


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 3036
   Posted 12/20/2007 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Scotty
I think everyone has given you great advice,and you have taken a big step is looking for help.
The meds will take 4-6 weeks for full effect...keep in contact with your doctors too.

No one deserves to be used like this. I think that getting a new number and just closing her out is the best thing for you. You deserve better.

And once you get back on your feet,you will find someone. It happens quite a bit when you least expect it.

Stay strong and keep us posted.

Mod- Depression

Chronic Depression, Panic Attacks,Anxiety Attacks,Anorexia
Meds I have taken throughout the years:Wellbutrin,Tranxene,Paxil,Prozac,Valium,

Have been med free for 2 years now.

I will scream with you,Cry with you and hopefully laugh with you.

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