Hope I am not intruding...I am usually on the CP forum but have been quite depressed for a while so I was checking this forum out.
Confused - I, too was on BCP. All 3 of my children are BCP-babies. My boyfriend wanted me to get an abortion, even dropped me off at the office....only to find out I was 21 weeks along and a "normal" one could not be done, it would have been of a different kind that would have been like giving birth early....I knew I couldn't do that. My parents were also very strict. I had ran away when I was 15 and hadn't gone back. So calling them and saying I was pregnant and wanted to come home was the hardest thing to do. Once I came home, they had every minute planned for me...the OB/GYN even had an adoptive family chosen. I had no choice to do what everyone else was telling me I had to do......or did I. It was my body....it was my baby....I couldn't be forced to sign papers (although I didn't know it at the time). For the first time in my life I stood up to them. I had her 3 weeks before I turned 18.....she is now 22. My mom cried when I told her I was keeping the baby, she was very happy. My dad, not so much. Guess who was the doting grandfather with camera in hand at all times when she was around! We spoke with our priest, and although I had comitted many sins, my daughter was allowed to be christened in God's eyes at 2 month's of age. He does forgive. I worked 3 jobs to support her and while I was pregnant I went to night school to get my high school diploma. I did go to college when I was 25.
Now, you may think that I am going somewhere completely different with this than what I am....but what I am here to say is it is your body, no one else can tell you what to do. Only you are going to know what is in your heart and what your strength is. You will be forgiven and loved by Him no matter what you decide. For me, the thought of having an abortion in the beginning was easier to fathom than someone else raising the child I had conceived. For me, the more the doctor and my parents pushed adoption and talked about the adoptive parents the angrier and stronger I became. I didn't decide until my 8th month that I was keeping her.....or maybe I decided long before and I didn't find the strength to tell my parents until then.
cervical fusion 2006, with great result
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005, I have continued pain
MEDS: Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, and trazodone