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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 406
   Posted 3/9/2007 9:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok. Brief history.
Two sons left at home ... one in a private school. Pre-divorce we enjoyed the same social standing. Not so much anymore. My youngest is a junior and has been invited to accompany a couple of families on spring break. ALL the parents (sans my former spouse) have been invited to get together for a "Sunday dinner" at one of the lovely homes.
Ok. Now my turn. I do NOT want to embarrass my son as he is already mourning his lack of status ("buck up" I say  ... and go to college where REAL people live!!! But I digress!!!). But when we get together I want to be appreciate of their hospitality WITHOUT refusing to eat!!! Should I call and let the hostess know I'm a diabetic? I don't want to cheat (CAN'T and WON'T cheat!) but don't want to be a "picky eater."

What do you guys do in situations like this?

Cheers -


age 52/Type 2 diabetic/"controlled" by diet and exercise

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 151
   Posted 3/9/2007 10:44 AM (GMT -7)   
If it were me I'd cheat, I'd tell the hostess but then I'd cheat anyway...just a little, lol. But that morning and afternoon I'd be a saint!! Life's too short not to allow for a little cheating! Yes, me bad. Just be sipping water the whole time to help wash it down. Then when I got home I'd slowly drink like a whole pitcher of water to further flush it out as much as possible while watching Jay Leno or a good movie.

I drink my water at room temp and I've found I can drink 3-4 cups at a time no problem! I put in some diet drink mix @ half strength so it's not too boring, pour it in a big 'ol plastic cup and "bottom's up"!

Maybe a late night walk around the block with the dog too.

Yes, I'm a bad Diabetic...But I'm sneaky and smart too!! We single mom's have so little "fun" in our lives. Sometimes ya gotta be bad just so you don't burn out.

Trick is to get right back on the wagon and cut your losses to a minimum!

I'm not too familar with the "social standing" bit. Actually, I'm a little "red" around my neck...But I too had my kids in private school, I sacrificed a lot!! I know how it is to try to keep up with the "wealthy" 2 parent families! But that's another post on another site...

In short, Ruth, you seem like such a good person! You deserve a SMALL treat. You're not going to drop down dead if you have a cookie or a bite of cake. But afterwards you need to fix the damage and get back on board right away. Then be proud of yourself for being such a STRONG woman!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 3/9/2007 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
There is no such thing as cheating, only bad choices. Go and enjoy your fun time and eat correctly. You will do fine. If alcohol is offered stick with a small glass of white wine, perhaps with a splash of soda turning it into a "wine spritzer". After that just keep your wine glass and fill it with water. Or just ask for water with a lemon or lime twist. Looks like a drink, people don't ask to get you something because you have a 'drink'. A short iced tea also looks like a drink with lots of ice. Just be sure to sip it so you don't look like you are guzzling burbon! (LOL!)

Being diabetic doesn't mean you need to eat different food for the one meal, just that your amount should be close to what you are supposed to eat. Look over what is offered and choose the amount of protein (cheese, meat or seafood) to be about the size of a deck of cards. If you go over on protein it's ok. Same with fats. This is one time that fats are your friend because they will slow the carb overload.

If the carb offered is encasserole, as in noodles or rice, try to stay with about 1/2 cup plus the amount that the meat takes up. Raw veggies, salads and fresh fruit are great choices to keep everything balanced. Just watch your bread, roll, cracker, tortilla etc. carb intake and the rest will be ok. Keep it to your normal 2 breads, or whatever your usual count for a meal is.

There is no need to tell the hostess that you are diabetic unless she is forcing dessert on you. You can always say you are on a special diet and ask for 1/3 of the normal dessert. Saying you are "DIABETIC" conjures up all kinds of drastic images in others eyes. It also can cause pity and panic, making them think that they have to make everything with sugar-free stuff, which isn't true. It's totally acceptable to be on a 'diet' and watching what you eat so that's what you can say if necessary.

Finally, if you should overindulge a bit you can come home and have one tablespoon of psyllium fiber (Walgreens carries it) in a tall glass of lukewarm water. Stir it up, drink it down and drink another glass of water. Psyllium prevents post meal spikes by extending absorption time of carbs. It isn't a total excuse to overindulge but it will help hold the line on your numbers. Hope this helps.
~ Jeannie
Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
~Please remember that 50% of all doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class!
Yours may be one of them...

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 477
   Posted 3/9/2007 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe you should think of it this way- if you were not a diabetic- would you eat up everything in sight? Most normal folks I know- pick and choose what they like- and don't make apologies for it. You know- "no thanks, I don't care for olives, but those baby spinach leaves are so fresh and tender, I think I'll have more!"  If the meal is served station or buffett style- nobody will be looking at your plate anyhow.
I am a vegetarian and a diabetic and frequently have to host or attend business functions with my husband- I make no mention of either - eat what I can and compliment what I did eat- so far so good.  As for dessert- l usually choose not to have any- I mention how nice and full I am from the delicious ____________(insert dinner dish here) and the hostess leaves me alone- or sometimes offers to send it home with me- I always take it and give it to my husband.
You are in control of your mouth- you choose what to eat- make your decision and be happy with it :-)   Guilt always complicates things. peace, sandy
I just want to live happily ever after-every now and then. Jimmy Buffett

Lanie G
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 5988
   Posted 3/9/2007 8:26 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ruth, I wouldn't call the hostess beforehand either.  There will probably be lots of food you can eat, so you just put the good things on your plate that you know you can eat.  I think using common sense will get you through the dinner without guilt.  It'll be easier than you think especially if it's a buffet.  If it's a sit-down dinner, take a piece of meat (chicken or fish) and lots of vegetables, holding off on the potatoes.  And a glass of white wine to be sipped throughout the meal.  If there's a choice of dessert, go for the least damage like 1/2 slice of something and leave some on the plate, or simply decline if you can.  I attended a birthday luncheon buffet and did just that, even part of the piece of cake that was given to me (didn't eat the icing) and my numbers later on in the afternoon were only slightly higher than normal for me.  I had a salad for dinner and everything was fine.  Don't stress out about this!  Tell us how it was!  We want to know!


Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 3/9/2007 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm diabetic, my spouse has a sulphite sensitiviy, and my child has severe food allergies, so we deal with this issue every time we eat anywhere. Potential trips to the hospital easily outweigh any possible embarassment. Anyone who doesn't know us well enough to know what we can't eat doesn't get to feed us.
Anything short of a formal sitdown dinner can usually be finessed. Potlucks and smorgs are easy, I just bring what we want to eat. Lengthy informal events with no opportunity to provide our own food mean we leave early or eat before we go. In your case, you could even let your son attend the whole event while you miss part of it for "an unavoidable previously scheduled appointment" if none of the other posters' solutions are acceptable to you.
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