Please accept my apologies- I did not realize that your Amanda is disabled- my brother-in-law has Down syndrome and is a diabetic- I'm not sure where he lies on the developmental scale, but I'm guessing it's lower than your daughter. He understands enough to say no to things that have been emphasized, but no way could he navigate the situation that your daughter was in.
I always try to give my mother the benefit of the doubt (she is old and from the old country - her ideas are 80+ years old and set in stone), but yours should know better and she should be serving up food that helps your dad and brother, and now your daughter. Why would anybody get mad at a child for not being hungry- it's beyond me.
My mother would refuse to have my kids over because making that weird vegetarian food was too much bother, until one of my daughters shamed her by saying that she'd even eat nothing at her house, bec she loved her grandma and wanted to stay over with the other kids (I think she was about 4 then- I was out of town for a wedding and my brother's wife took them over for a visit).
She still doesn't approve of the way we eat, and takes every opportunity to tell me that I am a diabetic because I eat too much, don't eat meat, am way too fat, drink too much water, work too much.... When I tell her that it's probably in my genes, she insists that she did not give that to me, that our family is perfect - hmm let's see now high blood pressure, thyroid, breast cancer, stomach cancer, strokes, ulcers, colitis, alcoholism- 6 foot tall women and 500 pound men...
I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.
I just want to live happily ever after-every now and then. Jimmy Buffett