welcome to HW. So glad you have come here for support. There are many people here that come for the same reasons you did. I definitely know the feeling of denial and loneliness. The more you can learn about epilepsy, the less you will feel burdened by it. The more you will feel that you can help your daughter as well as yourself.
You described it right when you said "numb" - it was hard to describe the feeling when the doctor gave me the diagnosis and then I had to deal with it. You feel kind of frozen at first. Maybe it's because I sensed that people looked at me funny when they learned I had epilepsy. And I knew things were never going to be the same again.
But what has really helped me is to talk to others. To educate others about epilepsy. It also helps to talk to someone you trust about your feelings and how you are dealing with things. Like Kayakmom said- you develop coping skills. It does make a difference.
Be good to yourself. Take time for YOURself. This is difficult and you need to have energy to make it through this ordeal too. Who cares for your daughter in addition to you? Work together, you will be stronger when you can share the victories as well as the defeats. What does get easier is knowing that you've made it past one more medication change, one more test, one more appointment...after a while, you start knowing the routine.
Yes, you do need to be strong... but you need to be strong for YOU FIRST. So you can be strong for HER. Do what you can to reduce your own stress, eat right, get enough sleep, get HELP if you need it ( a sitter, housekeeper, whatever), have a friend help you with chores/shopping, etc. The more you feel in control of things, the better you'll feel and can cope. You ARE going to make it.
complex partial seizures since 22