I'm begging, please help!

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New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/11/2013 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay, my name is Eliska and for the last year and a half I have been experiencing something very odd.
First let me explain this; My dad died January 2011, four months later my daughter at a fibril seizure and stopped breathing on my while I was home all alone. She is okay, just a bit slow (she is 3 this year and she can only say about 80 words and has just learned to jump).
After this I started having severe panic attacks and out of fear of another situation happening to one of my daughters, I would go days without sleep.
about five months after the incident with my little girl a doctor diagnosed me with PTSD. (splendid, right?)
Well, about a month after that I began having these.....episodes, the first one I can remember is, i was on the phone with my mom at 2 in the morning, I hadn't slept in about two days and my mom was badgering me about it when these intense feeling swept over me, a warmth started in my head and slid down my face and neck, meanwhile these images started going through my head and the STRONGEST feeling of de-ja vue hit me. This feeling is so intense, it's terrifying. They last about 15-30 seconds.
I have had so many since then that I can't count, and I always remember the images that I see; once I was in an office staring at cubicles, once I was in a library, I was in a cave in one...but, this feeling is so intense, I can't even describe it!!
Please tell me what is happening or if you have ever done the same thing.

New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/11/2013 9:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I forgot to mention, I don't know if there is any epileptic movement during this, I can't see anything past the images in my head.
This only happens when i have gone a while without sleep. And some of the items that trigger it are, cold tempature, pictures that have a dark background with a lighter foreground and cold tempature.
I have pushed myself (through fear) to call out to my husband to pull me out of it.
I am fully conscious of the world around me, I just can't move or see anything past the images.

Bayou Hunter
New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 5/21/2013 6:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Kylark , how have you been ? The first thing you need to do is to always get your rest , that is a Must ! If you are tired all sorts of things can happen . Exercise and take B vitamins they are good for your Brain . I read that years ago . Stay as stress free as you can . Nothing triggers seizures faster than stress . I read your entries and honestly they sound like stress was a Big factor . So Please remember : Get your Sleep , Exercise ,and take Good B vitamins. Please stay in touch and when it gets cold bundle up .

Lanie G
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 6027
   Posted 5/21/2013 7:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Kylark, I don't have epilepsy and I'm not a moderator here but I was concerned when I saw your post.  Have you been diagnosed with epilepsy?  Your posts haven't mentioned anything about seeing a doctor about these episodes.  I think you need to start off with some diagnostic tests to figure out what's going on, whether they are related to epilepsy, medication you might be taking or something else that's going on.  I hope you can get in to see your doctor.

diabetes moderator
diabetes type 2 controlled so far by diet and exercise
very low carb way of eating

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2012
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 5/23/2013 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kylark,

Thank you for your post and I wanted to reiterate what everyone else previously wrote. It would be inappropriate for us to even try to "diagnose" you based on your description. You wrote you had been without sleep for an extended period of time.....a big problem for even a perfectly healthy unstressed brain. You have also been under lots of stress and we do not know your other possible medical factors that could be called into question since we are not physicians and do not know your medical history. Sleeping adequately, exercise, complex B vitamins, and a healthy diet are the best thing for you. If you have not been to see a doctor yet and these episodes return, I hope you make the decision to be seen by a physician. Let us know what you decide and what you learn. Many people peruse these sites and learn from your posts to make their decisions about their health also.

New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/6/2013 3:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I feel the need to add this, my sleeping has evened out. I am back to sleeping 5 hours a night as oppose to the 4 a week I was getting. But, the episodes are still hitting me, and they are hitting me while awake, which scares the hell out of me. I'm not looking for a diagnosis, I am just looking for anyone that has been dealing with same thing.

The biggest thing for me is how....addictive the feeling is. There are nights I actually hope it will happen. The thing is, the feeling...episode, whatever is terrifying at the same time.

The images I see are all do familiar to me, but I know for a fact I haven't seen them before. For instance, in one of the images I see a cave, the rocks are an odd, maroonish red color. I HAVE NEVER SEEN A CAVE. But the feeling of Deja's vue is so extraordinarily strong I can't fight know what is going to happen next.

I can speak, but, I can't hear myself speak. It registers after the episode ends that I was speaking. I do know that my eyes roll back, but not if I have any odd twitches as I have the episode.

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2013
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/11/2013 9:42 PM (GMT -7)   
I am with the rest of the group on this -----you need more than 5 hours of sleep. Of course, you are doing better--I mean really 4 hours a week. May I ask you this...Are you not sleeping because of stress? Or are you not sleeping even though you do lie down, but you just can't sleep? When awake if you stare at something for just a short time do things in the background tend to fade? The trials of life are uncertain and I certainly grieve that you have had so many things come at once. It is certain you need more rest.....Even if you can't sleep make yourself rest.....maybe in the back of your mind you are awaiting the next tragedy.....Accept that life is unpredictable and know that life is worth every challenge---and even the best prepared of people never know what tomorrow will bring. One day at a time.

New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/12/2013 12:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm not going to lie to you guys to make this seem more innocent, I panic and live in a constant state of fear. Nights are the absolute worst. Because of two reasons, one: when my daughter had her seizure, it was at night time. Secondly: it's the ONLY time I have to take my eyes off of the girls for a few hours. Tonight is a good example why. Muly oldest daughter, Rain, woke up coughing and wheezing, quite badly. I had to give her a breathing treatment to help her breathe. Had I been asleep I might not have caught it.
My grandmother-in-law says I need help (she doesn't like me too much) but, she asked me why I don't eat as much as I used to and I tried explaining it to her that any time I eat a can of spaghetti O's or one of the mini pizzas, it always turns out to be the last one and it just do happens, it was what one of the girls wanted to eat.

I stress so easily. This all comes from some form of stress, but I'm scared it could be something else. At first I thought it sounded like simple partial seizures. Anytime I typed in my symptoms, that's what ALWAYS led to...then again you could type in the symptoms for an ear ache and it will tell you that you have a brain tumor and an hour to live.
I sleep more now than I did, I have always been a night owl. My dad was an insomniac, I would stay awake for hours listening to him type on his computer while I wrote poems and stories.
The thing is, I wish someone else could say that have had the same things happen.

New Member

Date Joined May 2013
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 6/13/2015 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, guys...its been a long time. I wanted to pop on let you guys know that every is better. I had to overcome my fears and move on. I did it. I actually began looking forward to bed time so that my husband and I could reconnect...and, of course, catch up on some American Idol or wars. Hahaha!
My new battle is anxiety on its own. It's nothing new to me, its just a pain in the ass....well...i just wanted to let you guys know that I am still alive and actually overcame one of the absolute worse times in my life. Thank you all for your support and powerful words.
Now to overcome this anxiety as I did the other.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2013
Total Posts : 1222
   Posted 6/25/2015 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Kylark, Thanks for coming back to give us an update and I am so glad that you were able to overcome your fears and that you feel much better. Hopefully you can overcome the anxiety as well. Take care.
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