Newly Diagnosed - Denial??

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/22/2008 8:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone: I was diagnosed with FM about three months ago. I think I have had a hard time accepting the diagnosis. I was reading that there is a group of patients with FM whose pain/fatigue is not so intense. So on the days that I feel well, I say to myself...I don't have this...I'm fine. Then I have days like today where I wake up and my body feels like it's just been in a car accident, not so much intense pain, but just dull pain all over. Then I start touching the "trigger points" and I almost jump off my seat in pain. So I start thinking, maybe I do have this...
I tend to ignore all the other symptoms that add up, like on and off inexplicable skin rashes, being cold all the time, not standing noise, feeling my mind is cloudy, those things I tend to attribute to stress....anyway, anything to deny this diagnosis.
But on days like today I tell my husband "Maybe I do have this fibromyalgia..." and he just smiles lovingly and says "Today you do..."
Anway, I just wanted to vent my denial process and introduce myself to this community and ask if anyone else feels the same way.
My best to all,

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/22/2008 9:07 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Rosky,

And welcome to HealingWell fibromyalgia forum. You have come to a wonderful and helpful place. The members here are so kind and considerate. Also very compassionate. I think that you will be glad that you came.

Denial is a common symptom of trying to accept the fibromyalgia. A lot of us have been there. But on the pain days, you know that you have it. Hopefully you wont have a lot of painful days filled with fatigue.

Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence though, and it is not the end of the world. There are many coping mechanisms that you can learn here and ways to keep yourself comfortable.

So keep posting and tell us a little more about yourself and your feelings about fibro so we can get to know you.

There is a thread called fibro 101. It is the second thread on the first page. I think that you will find it to be very informative and useful for upcoming situations. Plus you can see how we all have so much in common. So if you get a chance, please read. There is also a "who's who" thread if you want to tell us a little about yourself. We would love to hear more about you.

I hope that you are having a painfree and energetic day. That is one thing about fibro, one day you can feel great, and the next you can have symptoms.

So keep us posted,
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 7/22/2008 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Roski and welcome to our family. I've been where your at in the denial stage. The " this can't be happening to me stage". It's hard to come to grips with fibro. We go through many stages before we get to acceptance. This is a great forum made up of so many caring people and we will be here for you during this whole process and beyond.
Fibro is not a death sentence we learn how to live our lives with fibro and live full lives. Not in the same way we use to but we can get pretty creative to get the things done that need to be done. This is a time in your life when you will do a lot of weeding out the non important things to save your energy for the important things.
Start off by reading the second thread on the page fibro 101 it contains a lot of good info. Read as much as you can on the threads. We discuss it all on here. Ask questions and this is a nice place to fall when you can't take anymore and need to vent.
There are many things that have been found to help with fibro like malic acid/magnesium combo, not for everyone though. Moist heat helps us with the pain. You name it I think someone has tried it on here. There are many years of experience in this forum.
So hang with us and we will be here for you.
luv and hugs
Forum Moderator Fibromyalgia
Fibro,Sjogrens, Anxiety, Gastroparesis, IBS, Gastritis, Allergies, High Blood Pressure, Low Blood Sodium and Osteoarthritis
Amitriptyline, Celexa, Xanax, Synthroid, Zyrtec, Micardis, Spironalactone, Tylenol, Reglan, Lidoderm Patches and Tramadol
Co Q 10, Super B Complex, Extra B12, Multi vitamin

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 7/22/2008 9:40 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi and Welcome!

I am still in denial some days myself.  I was diagnosed about two years ago but have suffered for about seven.  I occasional have the ok day where I wonder but then reality rears its ugly head and there is no denying the diagnoses.  I think having someone to talk to really helps and this is the perfect place to be.  I have felt a great relief since joining the forum.  I now know that many of the odd things that have been happening are fibro symptoms, and as wonderful as my husband is, he just doesn't understand my fibro.  The people you meet here get what you are going through.  Stick with us and we will help you get through your bad days!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 7/22/2008 10:10 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi Roski and welcome-

I too just got diagnosed 3 to 4 months ago. So this is a learning process for both of us. The denial part has been easy for me because my body keeps reminding me! I'm just trying to adapt to my new life style and it is getting better. I have this group to thank for the majority of my recovery as the fibro hit me like a ton of bricks. Their daily support brought me through the worse and they have been here for me, whether it just be questions, bad days or a good laugh!

Your husband sounds like he is just the best - I loved his response of "Today you do..."

Join us on our daily check-ins when you can - it keeps us all in touch and we get to know each other and ourselves better. It's alot of fun!

Sounds like your husband is "very" supportive and you have come to the right place to get your support system in place. It was nice to meet you and keep posting! GamJill

Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Zanaflex

Post Edited (GamJill) : 7/22/2008 9:30:58 AM (GMT-6)

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9250
   Posted 7/22/2008 10:51 AM (GMT -6)   
HI Roski,

And Welcome!! I sure can understand denial. I don't deny I have fibro, but I more often deny that it will limit me. Oh boy do I pay the price then!! Right now I'm suffering the consequences of one of those episodes. DId way too much the past couple of days, hurt like crazy but kept doing more anyway. So today I can barely move. Know what I mean?

You're not alone in that denial phase. It's pretty normal for any diagnosis, especially one that is chronic. I think you'll find you've joined a great family here. The comfort and companionship they've brought me over the years is immeasurable.

BTW, join us on our daily Check-In. We have a great time sharing our thoughts and ideas each day....even a few silly Chicken Jokes. ;-)

Co-Mod Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, collapsed disk, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteo arthritis in spine and other locations.

The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits. Albert Einstein: (1879-1955)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 7/22/2008 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Roski, I feel the same as you, but I have not had a diagnosis of anything yet. I finally found a doc who will take me seriously and have an appt. next week. I do the same things you are doing: on days I feel good, I think, "aw, I'm ok," then on days when the pain flares up, I think, "surely this isn't right." I found this group when researching what other conditions besides RA or lupus could cause this weird coming and going and moving about of pain. The members have been wonderful and helpful to me in my attempts at trying to figure it out and trying to talk to the docs.


Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17895
   Posted 7/22/2008 1:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Roski, and welcome to the fibromyalgia forum!  I'm so glad that you have joined in.  We have a great group here and what makes us special is that we REALLY do care about one another.  We have some good ideas to help you learn how to control your pain and are there when you need us.
Be sure to keep moving.  If you sit too long you will become so stiff.  Walking, doing gentle stretching exercises, and so forth will help keep the muscles more flexible and you will find you are in less pain.
Moist heat is wonderful.  We love the hot showers and rice bags that you heat in the microwave.  They do help with the pain.  I have a wonderful massage therapist that understands fibro and gives me light massages and they really have helped me a lot. 
I hope you have a good doctor that believes that fibro is an illness and is willing to help you.  That is a big hurdle for us.  But a good doctor will be able to help with your pain.
I'm so glad you have joined our family and I hope to hear more from you soon.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 7/22/2008 2:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm in denial all the time. I don't have a dx yet, but I don't think that will change even after I do. Some mornigns when I come on here I feel like such an imposter! But when I feel really good adn think that I'm imagining it all, I go back to my pain journal and read it. I think because the pain is so diverse and... weird, for lack of a better word... it's hard to remember or describe, even to yourself. But I'm starting to see a bit of a pattern where I am more achy adn fatigued in the afternoon. So I try to enjoy the mornings even more now.

BTW, welcome to the boards!! You will love it here, everyone is so helpful and so compassionate!
in the land of Limbo, taking OTC meds only.
Don't know what's wrong, can't fix it, doctors are so sloooow!!!

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