Greetings Fibro sisters and brother,
Well its now almost 2:30 am and of course I am awake after the afternoon slumber sighhhhhhhh tired again just restless and the headache never went away,just an all over icky feel now. I did call my mom back since she was kind enough to call while i was sleeping but the table turned yet again. She can be sweet at times but has to be the most negative person I have ever known and takes no resposibility for herself. Today she was going on and on about her chiropractor and how she really needs to find someone that does her adjustment better and is just positive that he adjusts her the way he does to get out of doing his work and then she went on about how his staff was trying to rip her off because they asked her if she wanted the quarter in change from her co-pay. Well many times she said no but last time decided to say yes and she swears they did not want to even bother giving it to her. The older she gets the more paranoid and she constantly assumes for every situation way before she knows anything at all about it,but if I tell her not to jump the gun and assume then she says I am against her so basically either shut up and go with the flow or rock the boat to give my opinion. Ahhhhhh very tiring.
John.........I have tried talking to my brothers about that you cant get certain moments back and it falls on deaf ears most times or they agree then do nothing to make things better because they are so caught up in the drama that is thier disfunctional lives. I am talking my family would blow Oprahs mind. My brother Steve who only visits maybe twice a year already had the oh if only moment when our oldest brother died 10 years ago. At Joes funeral (the one that my ex and I had to pay for unexpectedly because not one other sibling could spare a dime)Steve stood up during the service and read a poem(he was always the "sensitive"one) and the poem was called If Only as in if only I had been there for you if
only I had knew your pain if only I had spent time with you(Steve hadnt seen Joe in over 16 years when Joe died) this big sob story poem where all these ppl were sobbing over how sad it was and then him promising never to let that happen again. So ya it continues and I told him if he had any big plans of pulling that when our mother dies that I would personaly kick his arse out of the chappel.
Heck he made a lame promise to send my mom 100 dollars every 4 months(how generous a whole 25 bucks a month)and in 2 years I've gotten it twice for her simply because he was around and I told him wheres moms check? and let him know that my other brother and I put in for groceries and personal things for her every month to make ends meet. It just gets so old that I grow tired of even asking. Its not like one sibling talking to another its more like me being a collection agent. And the really sad thing is that when my brother or I do nice stuff for my mom to make sure shes comfortable or has things that she cant afford she rarely even says thank you. My Aunt Patti who is my moms sister in law last year sent a huge box with a whole wardrobe of beautiful new clothes in it from a JC Penny store. about 1,000 dollars in clothes including a wonderful winter coat. It took a month of me bugging my mom just to get her to call and say thanx and to this day she still has not worn anything. It all still sits in a box while my Aunt has worked hard to pay off this bill completely unappreciated.
I mean what kind of ppl are so rude that they would do that to someone showing kindness? my whole family is lame I tell you. And my moms answer to why she acts like this? she said "well I never told her she had to do that" never getting the point at all. Sometimes they just drain me. I kinda knew with not feeling well I was taking a chance by calling my mom back and I was right. She just wanted someone to grip to about things on her mind that were p@#$ing her off and she didnt say one thing to me about how I felt never asked anything about me at all and when I fianlly said I had to go because I felt sick she acted miffed that I had to go. I give up at least for tonight and on that note I am going to try to sleep. Have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow for refills and maybe something to calm me down.
Mom of one gramma to 4
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain