I'm new here and I just read this thread. The reason I am here is exactly because of the way I have been treated by doctors. It seems that many people have had bad experiences but I really feel that I have had way too many and now I am on the verge of giving up. I have fibro, treatment resistant depression, anxiety, PTSD and Degenerative disc disease at L4/L5 which requires surgery.
I have had so many doctors treat me as If my life and well being are just not important. Over a month ago I started back on cymbalta and provigil and am not seeing any results yet. I didnt see great results before but figured I had less side effects than the other meds so I decided to go back on them. I don't know what if it matters really.
After seeing a few surgeons and being treated like I was not worthy of feeling better I decided I can not take the chance of having surgery when I know for a fact that the doctors don't care about what happens to me. They are cold and unfeeling. They act like I'm stupid and one says I need a fusion and another says I need a disc replacement. One says its no big deal another says its major surgery etc.... It makes me feel worse about everything.
The last surgeon referred me to a pain clininc. This is a first but also the last resort. The pain clinic is supposed to be where I can find help and people who will work with me to find a solution for the ungodly amount of pain I am in that just gets worse. It is not turning out to be this way at all.
I had told my regular NP that my first appointment at the pain clinic, which lasted over two hours of mostly waiting, was unproductive and by the time I got in there I couldn't think, was sore from sitting, confused, tired, brain fog, hungry, whatever. I told the NP that because I am on medicaid that I did not think I was going to get the help I needed. This is always the case. I told her something has GOT to be done to help me manage this because I am not doing well and am on the edge. She told me when I went back to the pain clinic to discuss this with them. They would listen. have things prepared to talk about etc...
Ok so...I had my pain clinic appointment last week and here's what happened.
Saw a NP different from the last one. Went over the meds, told her my story like I have to every time I go to any doctor. She asked questions that were on the page they just made me fill out blah blah. In addition to the chronic, unrelenting pain I have every day of my life I told her about the flare-ups I get. At least 3 times a month I get these episodes where I am so sick and in so much pain that I am . I never use that word but it fits here. I do not think rationally, I have three different headaches all at the same time, every muscle in my entire body is on FIRE. I am sick to my stomach. I can't see, talk or communicate. I have involuntary tremors mostly in my hands and face. I throw up. It lasts for hours. sometimes days and I lose days of my life...literally! I live in fear of the next one. I don't know what causes them and nothing and I mean NOTHING helps them. This is exactly what I told her. I asked her if there was anything at all she could do. Prescibe something to get me through them? I don't know how to put it. what can I do ya know?
She said "so you have an exacerbation of pain?"
Yeah to put it mildly i guess. So she asks if I have ever been to aqua therapy and I told her the last time I looked into it medicaid did not cover it. She asked me if I had been on lyrica. Again, I told her I tried but Medicaid would not cover it.
She left the room and came back with two scripts. They were for aqua therapy and Lyrica!!!!! I told her again that I have tried these both and that they were not covered by medicaid. She said nothing and handed them to me along with a pamphlet about fibromyalgia and how bad it can affect people's lives.
I said "what about the flare-ups? I'm not sure you really understood what I was saying, its hard to put into words"
She said "We don't prescribe medications to make people unconscious...that's not how we treat it"
I said well I didn't ask for that I just want something to help me through and she said "See how the aqua therapy works" and she walked out the door and just left me standing there.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I really feel that this is the way its going to be for me. I am a fighter but I am tired. I am not sure it makes a difference to try if this is all I ever get. Just wanted to put it out there. I really don't know what to do.