Upcoming Holiday ideas?

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Date Joined Apr 2004
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   Posted 9/30/2008 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I had my family over for Labor day, just hot dogs on the grill and some salads and such but it totally wiped me out for a few days. My daughters have different ideas about parenting and so sometimes the kids run wild and trash the house. I love my grandkids but I don't want their only memories of me to be "Grumpy Grandma" yelling at them to pick up. sad Anyway, I was kicking the idea around of having a friend cater Thanksgiving for me so I could enjoy the day, but the more I thought about it the more I realized I just can't take the hassle.

So I've hit upon a plan. We're thinking of going to a breakfast buffet on Thanksgiving in a town 1/2 way between daughter's houses and close enough for son-in-law who is on call that day. After the great breakfast everyone can go to their own home and do whatever they want for the Turkey part. I'm off the hook for all the work and they can go to their respective in-laws if they need to for dinner. I'm sure there will be fireworks over this, but I believe it may be the perfect answer.

I'll let you know how it goes with the family. If you have a better idea I'd love to hear it. All I require is that it doesn't trash my home, doesn't require me to make tons of food that I shouldn't be having with my diabetes, anyway, and doesn't require my daughters bringing a dish to pass. We have some issues with sharing the work load that I don't want to go into here.

I kind of feel like the Grinch about the holiday fuss... I love my family but I don't seem to be able to handle them all in one place anymore and I believe it's directly traceable to the fibro fatigue and pain. Anyone else feel this way?
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

M&M lover
Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I love your plan!  Not only are you taking care of you and your home you are also allowing your daughters the freedom of spending that day with their inlaws too.  I think it is a win win situation.
If you get any sort of fireworks simply say with the way you are feeling this is how it is going to be this year and if they want they can host Thanksgiving at their house next year tongue

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17501
   Posted 9/30/2008 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Jeannie, I do know how you feel.  I have three small children that come and one of my little nephews is autistic and the little guy goes around licking all the furniture, etc.  He can't help it and the parents are busy having a good time.  UGH!  But I "gut" it out for Thanksgiving. 
I prepare as much ahead of time.  I make my bread dressing a month before and freeze it.  I thaw it the day before I cook the turkey.  I clean the house the weekend before.  I peel potatoes and make dips the day before.  I'll also clean veggies that day before and microwave on Thanksgiving.  I'll get the table set with tablecloth and napkins the day before.  So, Thanksgiving day I only have to cook the stuff which isn't difficult.  I am tired at the end but I'm glad to have done it.   
I announced last year I was not doing Christmas anymore because the children want to be where their toys are so the other families can alternate and include me.  Works for me!  yeah
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 9/30/2008 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
No one has brought the holidays up in my family yet. If I feel as well as I do now I will have Thanksgiving dinner here. We do have two children in the family that are problems but everyone will be keeping an eye on them but their mother. I will block off rooms in the house I do not want anyone in. I did that last year with the excuse I didn't want the grandpuppy in the living room marking everything with his urine and it worked. His parents know he has done that so it is a legimate reason to keep pets and kids out of all rooms with carpet. That cuts down on my stress cause they will only be in kitchen/dining room and family room.
My DH is a sweetheart and a good cook so I never have to do everything myself. Plus one of my sisters will bring half the meal with her. She loves to cook but doesn't have room in her house for everyone so she always brings too much. I never worry about not having enough food cause everyone will bring something.
Everyone will help clean up afterwards so it's not that bad. Last year the dishwasher wouldn't work which was horrible.
Christmas will be the weekend before or the weekend after which ever works for everyone. It will be for the boys and their families only. If I get some goodies made fine and if I don't I will buy them. Santa aka Grandpa will come and we will order pizza. That day is all about my grandchildren and you won't find me in the kitchen.
Last year I made rice crispy treats with peanuts in them and they were a bigger hit than anything else. Oh and I made rocky road candy, you melt Hershey candy bars in the microwave put in miniature marshmallows and walnuts pour it in a pan to cool. I keep it simple and enjoy the day. When the grandchildren grow up they aren't going to remember what they ate at Grandma and Grandpa's on Christmas but I bet they will remember that Santa came every year when they were little and even after they figured out it was really Grandpa but went along with it cause they enjoyed it so much as some already do.
They may remember the wacky grandmother that had pizza for Christmas. turn
Enjoy the little ones Jeannie they do grow up so fast. I think having grandchildren from 22 (who is no longer with us) down to 5 has shown me just how fast they do grow up and how fast they can be taken from us. This is coming from a former perfectionist that use to worry about the mess and stains.
luv and hugs
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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41844
   Posted 9/30/2008 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jeannie,

I really think that your breakfast idea sounds like a good one. That is something that I never thought of. But it takes a lot of the hassle out of it and everybody can enjoy the rest of the day. I hope that it works out good for you, sounds like it will.

I have yet to deal with halloween, let alone Thanksgiving, but it sure is coming up fast isn't it? Time sure flies.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

tink 2
Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 371
   Posted 9/30/2008 3:07 PM (GMT -7)   
You can go out to dinner to
Lupus since 2005, Fiberomyalgia since 2006,  sjogren's syndrome since 2005,  diabetes since 2006, Depression since 2004. who would not be with all of this.
       I just try to make it threw every day as best I can.
        God please remember I am on the diet platter.
                  So many beads so little time.....
                   Have a great Lupie Day Denise 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 9/30/2008 11:32 PM (GMT 0)   
Hi Jeannie.  We always go to a Chinese buffet for Christmas dinner (got the idea from "A Christmas Story").  It is a lot of fun and no work! It is something that everyone in the familly looks forward to.
After dinner, we come back to my house for dessert (something I've made ahead of time) and a Christmas movie. 
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 9/30/2008 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
why not make it pot luck you look after the turkey.... and potatoes and have everyone bring something
i know thats how we do christmas.. and it seems work that way no one person is responsible for anyone everything... and the clean up is a shared responsibility. we assign the kids to go around and collect the plates and silverware..we give them plastic dishpans and have the adults do the dishes then we sit down and enjoy dessert after the dinner dishes are done (also gives you time to settle the main before dessert).. we use paper plates and plastic glasses.. and only silverware.. to cut down on dishes... we have 30 people for christmas but seems to work for thanksgiving when we are at the cottage too..
hope that helps... if there is fireworks tell them to host it.. then they will see how tiring and exhausting it is

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 10/1/2008 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Good subject Jeannie-
This will be my first major holidays with fibro. Got lots of good ideas from everyone! :)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 532
   Posted 10/1/2008 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I use to do all the holidays. my sister in law had a new home built and 3years ago she wanted to do christmas I was pleased with that
now we do it at her house, I told her she has little kids her kids need to be with there toys and she agreed. Mine are older into electronic stuff. I usually do thanksgiving and easter. my husband helps alot. everyone brings something mom in law loves to make desserts and she is good at it. I do not get dressed up for the occasions anymore
We just have a very relaxed time. Nephew is 4 and is into everyhing as well he is mean to the dogs so I block certain rooms off and they are off limits to him.I put dogs in those rooms and use the excuse i dont want dogs out while I have food out because they get tummy aches from to much human food. every one is happy
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