Trouble Coping

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/13/2008 8:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi I'm new to this forum. I found it because I am constantly doing research trying to learn all I can about it. I'm 21 and was diagnosed under a year ago. I have a bunch of other health issues going on as well, but this one is pretty much the biggest one. It started when I was 15 so high school was...well it was pretty much hell as I'm sure you can all imagine. I'm a senior in college now and over the last few months its been worse and worse. I don't know whether I'm getting used to the Lyrica and Cymbalta or if the FMS is getting worse. As the pain gets worse my depression has been getting worse. All I want to do is lay in bed. In the past my main coping method when I was depressed was to read, but I don't even want to do that anymore - I just want to sleep. I'm an RA in my dorm - its nearly impossible for me to hide away, which is a good thing. But it also means that I have to walk around the building and up and down the stairs four times a night until midnight, which some nights exhausts me. I barely care about my schoolwork anymore and my future career - I have a year left after this one in college - studying to become a sign language interpreter. Basically - I'm having a lot of trouble coping and I don't know what to do. I would love to go to a support group, but the closest one I can find online is an hour and a half away and while I'm on Lyrica I can't drive - I fall asleep at the wheel since I'm exhausted all the time. No one that I know has FMS and while my boyfriend is wonderful at letting me vent to him, he doesn't really understand what I go through and I'd love to be able to talk to people that actually understand what I'm experiencing. The depression and the pain is just such a big burden and I'm surrounded by college kids who I feel so much older than even though I'm not. Somehow its like the pain makes me feel older - I'm not sure if that makes sense or not. Sorry for the really long post...

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41931
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Leeriesan,

First of all, welcome to HealingWell and the fibromyalgia forum.

You are definately not alone with these feelings. It is so hard, and being you are so young, it makes it all that much more difficult. The one good thing is that you are moving around. Keep moving, or else it will seem worse.

When you get a chance, check out the thread titiled 'fibro101' It is the second thread on the first page. It has so much wonderful advice and information on it. There are also many other threads with tons of information.

Fatigue is one of my biggest complaints. I do take adderall which is a stimulant. It really helps me with the energy. Another thing that helps is a supplement called malic acid. I take the kind that has magnesium in it and that has helped me like you wouldn't believe. It helps with the pain and the fatigue. Another supplement that I have found to help is vitamin D3. It seems to give me energy and a feeling of well being.

We also have a wonderful depression forum if you are interested, there are a few on there with fibro also. So that might be something that you want to look into.

I hope that your day gets better. Remember that we are here for you. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 532
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes it is really hard to cope with Fibro. My husband started reading everything he possibly could on the subject. The malic acid has really helped. the lyrica makes me really tired as well Bcomplex is very good also. Alot of people with fibro feels older at times than what they really are. I hope that you feel better soon. Hopefuuly you can get the support you need and find pain relief as well.

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Leeriesan...welcome to the forums (from another newbie)
I'm sure most of us can relate to the majority of what you're going through, so if it helps any to know that you're not alone, you've come to the right place.   Have you tried seeing a therapist for your depression, or even reading up on the various things that can be done to alleviate it? 
I agree that when I'm depressed, the pain is much worse, and it's just a downward spiral domino affect; which is why I try to first and foremost do things to help my depression.  I find that meditation works for me.  It was hard to learn at first, but once I did, it's quite easy.  The first time I tried meditation, I just sat still in a nice comfy chair, eyes closed, tried very hard to clear my mind of pain, and my surroundings by 'going to the beach' so to speak.  (the beach calms me tremendously and being that I can't drive there, I can at least go in my mind!)  Once I had myself at the beach, I would feel the warm sand under my toes, the warm breeze on my face, the calming affects of the sound of the waves, and yes, I could even watch the seagulls flying overhead.  I would stay 'at the beach' for as long as possible and then slowly bring myself back to reality.  Believe it or not, it made me feel much calmer and I could then think with a clear mind realizing that I have power over my depression, and therefore over my pain.  (well, I found that this helped the depression "much" more than the pain, but in all honesty it did ease the pain somewhat.)  Until this day, I'm totally amazed at how the mind is such a powerful tool!!
If my home is too 'busy' for me to meditate then I do my best to be around something that brings me joy.  This can include calling a friend, being with my grandchild, snuggling up with one of my pets, and yes, sometimes going on line looking at the various places in the world that I would someday like to visit!  At best, when your depressed, in total pain, and extremely exhausted you don't really feel like doing anything to help yourself, but I find that it is at that time that it's the most important to try. Of course I don't always succeed but I do always try. 
Anyway, I hope this helps you a little bit.  Sometimes learning how others cope gives us a tid bit of help.  You've gone so far in your studies, it would be a real bummer to have Fibro take that away from you.  Keep up your spirits, and good luck to you!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 10/13/2008 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, Leeriesan, and welcome to the fibromyalgia forum.  I see that you have been directed to the Fibro 101 thread...the second thread on the forum.  You will find good info there. 
I am another that takes the malic acid/magnesium supplements and it has helped me a lot with pain and fatigue, too.  There is a link in the Fibro 101 thread all about malic acid and it also explains how it works in the body.  It doesn't help everyone but many members are having success with it.  Check it out and see what you think.
It is important to keep moving and stretching with fibro.  The more you sit or lay, the worse the pain and stiffness will be.  It sounds like you get exercise but the stairs are probably "killers" for you.  I know I have problems with that.  But, they are helping to keep you strong.
Hot showers are wonderful and having a rice bag or Bed Buddy is good in helping with the pain.  You heat them in a microwave.  I know some students have a microwave in their rooms and I hope you are one of them. 
Try some positive thinking and counting  your many blessings.  When you are in pain I know it's difficult to think about anything else, but being positive and living with hope makes life and pain more bearable.  You have many blessings in your life so focus on that.  Your studying should help you too because I have found that if I focus on other things, the pain fades in the background.   
Meanwhile, read back posts and ask questions.  We are here to help you live a full and enjoyable life with fibro.  I'm so glad you joined us and I hope to hear more from you soon!
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 408
   Posted 10/13/2008 5:27 PM (GMT -7)   

Leeriesan, welcome to our group.  This forum has been a blessing for me.  I had no-one that understood what I was going through until I met everyone here.  My whole outlook on things changed when I was able to share my frustrations with people who understand.  I hope you can find the same sense of relief that I have found.

I do understand the lack of support groups, there isn't one in my area either.  I was amazed though at how many people I found with fibro in my area when I started asking around.  Who knows, there may be other people in your area that would like to talk to someone.

I hope you feel better soon, it could be stress that is making things so tough on you right now.  We will be here to listen and help in anyway that we can.  You will find a lot of support here!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 10/13/2008 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there,
I understand the emotions you're dealing with too. I also am in the midst of not being able to cope with the pain anymore. The depression sets in and the cycle continues.  I wish I had some advice for you, but you've been given great steps to take from the other members.  I'm learning to deal with all this too.  It's hard, really hard.  Glad you're here.
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

34 years old. Diagnosed with lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke),Sjogren's, Raynaud's, seizure disorder-(miraclulously disappeared!), Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck) . Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, didrocal, Cozaar, Tramacet, calcium, Cykolokapron, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 10/14/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Leeriesan-
I am 23 with fibro...I was diagnosed when I was 18 ( I think) but it all started with weird stuff when I was around 15. I have days when I have a hard time accepting that at this age, I have something that makes me less able to do everything I want(and should) be able to do. Do you see a doctor? or a counselor? I know a lot of time colleges have counselors that you can see for free. They may be able to give you some tips for keeping a positive outlook. Also- post here! this place has been a big help for me....when I need to vent or ask questions, its awesome to have a whole bunch of people who know exactly how you feel.  The good thing about fibro is that you live with it, unlike some other horrible conditions that I was tested for, and possibly you were.
I started out going to school full time, but soon figured out that was not going to work for me. I took a year and a half off. I made it through my full time year, but I did not do very well in some of the classes...just becuase of lack of energy. I go to school part time now. I find that it makes it much easier to handle, still only going part time, I hear you on the not caring about the school work. sometimes when your body hurts, and you feel down and tired, writing papers is the LAST thing on your mind. Sometimes I wish I had just stuck with full time, becuase I would have been done already...but I know I would not have gotten the best grades, and who knows, it may have been just way too much for me.
anyways- welcome to the forum- everyone is great here, feel free to ask anything. I am always really interested to hear how other people close to my age are coping with this.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 90
   Posted 10/14/2008 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I wish that I could go part time for school - but if I did that I'd lose my health insurance - and we all know I can't do that.

Thank you for all your support. It really means a lot. My family is okay to talk to sometimes but usually I just don't talk to them about it and I don't tell anyone but my boyfriend when it hurts (well I really can't hide it from him anyway). I just don't want people to worry. Plus they don't really understand anyway. Then my mom read somewhere it was genetic, but she doesn't have it - but she still blames herself so she's always apologizing for it.

My school lets me see a counselor three times a year for free - which hasn't helped much. My insurance just changed so I'm in the process of trying to find a counselor that I can see. I know that I HAVE to see somebody. I can't keep going on like I am or I'll end up somewhere I don't want to be. I've had issues with depression since I was young - depression and suicidal tendencies run in my family and I'm trying so hard not to do anything stupid. Its pretty much impossible anyway since I'm so busy with class and when I'm not I'm either with my boyfriend or asleep since I'm so tired.

I think part of me is glad I found this forum because it gives me a place to vent to people who actually understand what I mean - like really understand what I'm talking about - really understand what I mean by exhaustion and pain. They aren't just words; they have real meaning and have a big effect on our daily lives. Everyone else just doesn't seem to get it. They just say "okay so go take some tylenol and take a nap" or something.

My mind is so full of all of this that there just doesn't seem room for schoolwork. I got a D on my Linguistics of American Sign Language Midterm. (I'm studying to be an interpreter). Me - a "D". That just doesn't happen. Part of me was shocked and the other part of me didn't care. ...I just realized how long I've been rambling on about nothing haha. I'm gonna cut this off now - sorry! But really thank you everyone for your advice. I've been looking up a lot of things that you've been suggesting and I've made an appointment with my doctor because I want to set up a plan or at least be discussing it with her. Thank you again.
~~Asthma, Reactive Airway Disease, Allergies (to nature), Fibromyalgia, Kidney Reflux Disease, Chronic Migraines (docs currently working on those), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Restless Leg Syndrome, and a few others that remain undiagnosed because I don't feel like being on anymore medication than I am already on. ~~

~~ I'm 21 and trying to be optimistic~~

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 346
   Posted 10/14/2008 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
ahh health insurance. I lost that when I got married. it was nice while I had it. you should talk to the cousin was seeing a free once through school, and the counselor agreed to see her for free becuase she really needed it, and could not afford it. also, feel free to email me if you need to super vent! I am going to school to be a guidance counselor/school psycologist.... i'll help out with anything I can!

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