Just got off the phone w/ my dr.

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Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
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   Posted 10/16/2008 1:50 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so mad, if I had the energy I would scream! I finally decided to apply for disability, made my appt and asked my dr to fill out a form telling what what going on w/ me. She did and said I had all these problems including depression then said I was a malingerer. Needless to say I did not bring that report into the office. I had to complete an endless report on the computer (w/ my DD's help.) My visit was ok, the man wasn't bad, but the visit to SS was 2 1/2 hrs long. I can't sit that long and the chairs were hard. I had to keep getting up and trying to stretch my back and legs. I have been sick this past wk, today was 1st day I was up to calling. I asked the dr. why she wrote that on the report and she said 'I don't think your prob is FMS so much as depression. Everytime I give you a rx you have a prob w/ it. You don't follow the drs. (Specialists) orders', I asked what she meant. She sent me to 2 drs. 1x each they did exam, sent me for blood test and she never sent me back. There was no follow up. The last dr she sent me to was the ortho, he gave me a series of shots in my knees, sent me to PT for 2 complete sets of therapy. Both of which I completed. I still have a prob w/ my hand/wrist, shoulders, and knees. I need a quad cane to walk outside. She said 'you always have a prob w/ the meds'. If they don't work I can't help that, I have tried what she has asked me to do.
She said I started off w/ 5 complaints, went up to 15 last visit. I didn't have 15 complaints, I hadn't seen her since ortho visit I was telling her what had happened since then, w/ PT and shots. She said 'I don't know what to do for you to make you better'. I told her I didn't expect her to cure me, but help me w/ what is going on. She said 'I think if you are this angry', ( I was very calm, trying to say what I felt and never raised my voice or anything, so that angry thing was weird) 'you should find a new dr.' I said I'm not angry, I am upset. She has never heard me angry, trust me, it isn't pretty. I had problems for yrs that she was never able to connect the dots to FMS, when I did, she didn't believe me at first, after I typed all the symptoms up and gave her the list from the Fibro Advocate, she said I think you have Fibro. She didn't feel I needed anything to sleep or for pain for a long time. I still don't sleep more than 2-3 hrs w/ Soma.
I have to try to find a new dr for my DH and myself. He said if she didn't believe me, then he has no use for her. So I have to try and find a new dr. for the 2 of us. My children go to her also, I will tell them about her attitude, but to leave is their decision. I don't think they will be treated nicely in that office tho. So, if any one has any suggestion for a PCP in the Central Jersey area pls let me know. I know there are a lot of run on sentences in this post so forgive me but I'm not happy at the moment and I guess it shows.
Thank you for letting me vent, at least my heart rate seems to be down a bit now.    God bless.  Alice.

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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 10/16/2008 2:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Alice, drop her like a hot potato!  What an attitude!  I guess "Dr. Goddess" isn't the healer she thinks she is.   skull  
See if you can find a rheumatologist or even a good internist that understands fibromyalgia.  I always make sure they are board certified and diplomates.  Maybe one of the specialists she sent you to could help.  Or, make some calls and ask flat out if the doctor treats patients with fibromyalgia.  Or perhaps call the hospital and see if you can get a referral.  If you have a teaching hospital near you, that's where I would call first.  You may have to interview a few.  After all, you are hiring THEM to take care of you.  The doctor you have been going to is really pathetic.  She doesn't know how to help you so, instead of being up front about it, she is blaming you so she doesn't look so bad.
If you find a good doctor then continue with the disability route.  Your current doctor could upset the proverbial apple cart.  She sure sounds like she's one brick short of a full load.  Let us know what you find out and what you do.  I'll be praying for you to find the right doctor.

Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 289
   Posted 10/16/2008 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Babe sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with your doctor.. I have been in that situation..its not fun.. although mine was a resident

I hope you have better luck with your new doctor... usually if you call the local hospitals they have lists of doctors taking patients in the area ( at least in canada) and if you search the web there are great sites with info in what to look for in a doctor

good luck

Elite Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 10404
   Posted 10/16/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Alice. That's horrible. I'm so sorry.
Co-Moderator Crohn's Forum.

tink 2
Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 371
   Posted 10/16/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Alice,   Get in your car and drive over the bridge and go to the Toms River hospital around there ,there are alot of Drs offices behind the hospital and the road behind there on Lakehusrt Road there is a building called the perimaid and there is alot of drs in there to and go down RT 37 and look for a Rheumatologist. That is the best I can tell you and get a Disabitity lawyer there is a good lawyer in Red Bank long name I can not remember something like Drazen and Warshaw if my mind is on traget today. I do not know if they do disability  but check it out. I had a car accident in Beachwood and they were my Lawyers and very good... Do not forget there is alot of retirement places there and you may find a good DR..  Good luck Ps stop off at Old Time Tavern and have Lunch.
Lupus since 2005, Fiberomyalgia since 2006,  sjogren's syndrome since 2005,  diabetes since 2006, Depression since 2004. who would not be with all of this.
       I just try to make it threw every day as best I can.
        God please remember I am on the diet platter.
                  So many beads so little time.....
                   Have a great Lupie Day Denise 

Post Edited (tink 2) : 10/16/2008 4:24:10 PM (GMT-6)

Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1380
   Posted 10/16/2008 3:47 PM (GMT -7)   

You Ladies are the best, you have given me such a gift just by your words. The ortho I went to gave me the name of a rheumy, I had made an appt w/ her wks ago, can't get in till 1/12/09. I will call the hosp tomorrow and see what they have for internists. Trust me I will call insurance tomorrow morning to drop this dr from my plan. She has received the last of my money. The reason the ortho suggested I see the rheumy is he wants me checked for RA, which I told my pcp at our last visit - that was one of those, as she called them, 15 complaints.

Thank you for your prayers and support, it means so much to me.

Tink, funny you should mention Old Time Tavern, that was were we had our wedding reception 31 yrs ago. My 2 nephews loved ours so much when they got married they went there also - same room even. I have heard of the firm I think you mean, I don't know their specialty, but I will ck to see if they do Disability. I have always heard that lawyers don't handle disability till you have been rejected once. I just feel like my head is spinning.

Ivy and Carnissa, I don't know that we have spoken before, but Hello, nice to meet you and thank you for your kind words.

Sherrine and Tink, thank you for your support, as always.

God bless.  Alice.

tink 2
Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 371
   Posted 10/16/2008 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
some lawyers will help with the paperwork...
Lupus since 2005, Fiberomyalgia since 2006,  sjogren's syndrome since 2005,  diabetes since 2006, Depression since 2004. who would not be with all of this.
       I just try to make it threw every day as best I can.
        God please remember I am on the diet platter.
                  So many beads so little time.....
                   Have a great Lupie Day Denise 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1771
   Posted 10/16/2008 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Sherrine made an excellent point that it might help us all to remember:  We are HIRING the doctors to help us.  (Just like we would hire a plumber, an accountant, a tutor, etc.)  If the doctor isn't helping (or if her attitude just plain stinks), she should be fired. 
I'm not directing this towards you Alice, but I think that sometimes it's all too easy to get caught up in the doctor's own "God complex." ( I know I have before).  It's pretty refreshing to be reminded that we are contracting with the doctors, and their services can be terminated at any time.  yeah
I wish you the best of luck finding a caring, compassionate, competent doctor.
For whatever it's worth, I've tried tons of meds too, and I've not had much success either.  mad
Hugs - Austen
"There is no charm equal to tenderness of  heart." - Jane Austen
Fibromyalgia, 2 back surgeries, Meniere's Disease, 30+ kidney stones, GERD, IBS, Asthma, Allergies, Endometriosis, Heart Arrythmia, Myofascial Pain, TMJ.

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Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 10/16/2008 5:31 PM (GMT -7)   
The minute you brought in those fibro symptoms and essentially made your own diagnosis this doc was P.O.'d. Nothing you can do is gonna get her to be your partner in health care...

By the way, do you know the difference between God and your doctor?

God doesn't think He's your doctor!
~ Jeannie, Forum Moderator/Diabetes & Fibromyalgia
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

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Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 1495
   Posted 10/16/2008 9:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Grrr!  Glad you are getting rid of her mad    She sounds like she has her own set of problems. I would not only get rid or her, I would report her to the medical board or someone that has authority over doctors.  I agree with Sherine and everybody.  I got caught up in the God complex of my doc for awhile and when he acted like I was malingering, I thought "He wouldn't act this way if if weren't true - must be something wrong with me."  I got rid of him and am finally getting the help I need.  You do the same - drop her like a hot potato!


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Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 10/17/2008 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to hear you are going through this Alice- but happy to hear you are getting rid of her too.

I have been blessed to have found a wonderful Dr. right away. I did see a rheumy and I was not impressed with him- I will just be seeing my regular Dr. for the fibro.

I wish you a short search for a GOOD Dr.!

Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 6067
   Posted 10/17/2008 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry your having so many problems Alice. You know we feel bad enough without having to put up with the aggravation of the people that we hire to help us feel better.
I had an app last week with a new rheumy. I spent 1 1/2 hrs with this man. Oh yeah, I was impressed. It was like he had nothing else to do the rest of the day but listen to my life history and everything that was bothering me. He needed to get more records from my GP and I had x-ray of right hand. We will see what he has to say about treatment when I go back at the end of the month.
There are good doctors out there we have to keep weeding through the bad ones to find them. Kinda like finding a good husband. devil
Good luck with the doctor search.
luv and hugs
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Irish Babe
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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1380
   Posted 10/17/2008 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you all for your advice and kind words, they have helped to sooth my hurt. I called my ins this morning and cancelled the dr. for my DH and myself. The lady at ins gave the site to ck for drs in my area and I called my hosp for some suggestions. A fellow that my DH works w/ suggested a dr that he and his wife go to. The wife has FMS and this dr believes FMS exists. They both rave about her, so we are leaning in that direction. My DH has Type 1 Diabetes and HBP, so we want to be sure all bases are covered.

My Evil Puppy has not been feeling well lately, so I had to make an appt for him. He has a lovely dr., I wished she practiced for humans, too. lol, but seriously!!! I can only deal w/ so much right now, I have bronchitis and I sound like a barking dog, but I need him to get in to his dr.

I am heartened by your stories of finding a good dr, hopefully this new one will be the right match.

Marlee, the new dr. sounds good, hope he can help you. Just giving you his undivided time and interest sounds like a big positive. I do wish you the best. I love gardening, altho I haven't been able to do any this past summer, I love getting the weeds out to see the bones of the yd. Get rid of the junk, get to the goodies. Just like finding the right man to share your life with, get rid of the junk, get to the goodies!! We are very lucky women, very blessed.

God bless.  Alice.


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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 1042
   Posted 10/18/2008 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   

((((((Alice))))) nice tender hug for you

I cant really add anything regarding my opinion on your ahem...doctor rolleyes    Everyone here summed up what I felt too.  You know it's hard enough living with these malady's, then top that off with a doctor with an attitude and you are in trouble.  I changed rheumy's as well, and managed to get one that lives less than an hour from me...but..hmmm see the rolling eye smiley?  that is my rheumy...however, my family doctor's husband has the RA and Fibro thing too, and now she is a pain management doctor.  She has helped me so much in such a short amt of time...because she cares, and still has her compassion in tact.  So I am very lucky at the moment.  I turn to her first now..I trust her, and I know she cares.

I will keep you and hubby in my prayers and hope that you find a new and improved rheumy! very quickly too!


Lots of warm hugs


Fibromyagia, R/A, Diabetes, Atrial Fib, depression

folic acid, metformin, diamicron, bisoprolol, fenofibrate, pantoloc, wellbutrin, propafenone, ibprofen, warfarin, methotrexate

Some people dream of angels, I held one in my arms

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 10/19/2008 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Alice ... This is such a major pet peeve of mine, I'm so tired of these doctors with their holier-than-tho attitude.  I've noticed the same thing with many ER doctors.  Whenever I go to the ER I'm sure to put FMS on the paperwork, but most of them ignore it.  I went to the local Walk In Medical Facility yesterday because I had a sinus headache (from a sinus infection) that made me want to rip my head off.  I explained to the doctor that I had Fibro and would greatly appreciate it if he was 'gentle' while giving me my exam.  I think the guy thought I was nuts, and he was FAR from gentle.  When he checked my ankles for swelling he squeezed so tight I did all I could not to kick him.  I AGAIN said to him, PLEASE try to be more gentle as I'm having a bad day with my Fibro and hurt EVERYWHERE...again, he looked at me as if I were nuts.

Seems to me that you got one of those doctors that obviously does not want to take the time to educate herself on Fibro.  That type of doctor shouldn't even be in practice as far as I'm concerned! mad

Thank goodness my Dr. is gentle, and understands fibro or else I would be finding another one.

Anyway, sorry about the rant, your post just reminded me of how upset I get at these Doctors.  I wish you the best of luck finding yourself the 'perfect' doctor for you. 

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