OK, as most of you know, I've just moved back in with my parents because of the fibro and money issues. BTW-to all the newbies, I apologize for not greeting you individually. I've been so busy with the move and getting all my medical stuff straightened out, I usually only have a few minutes to jump online and post for the Daily Check-In. Anyway, my dad hasn't really been bothering me. He does his own thing and leaves me alone. I do get those looks that I know are screaming, "why aren't you working?" and of course, the oldie but goodie, "you don't look sick."
But, really, it's my mom who is driving me insane. I can't go anywhere without her asking where I'm going, etc. Can't I just go to Walgreens and buy some tampons without all the questions? I've lived alone so long, I didn't realize how quiet I am when I'm feeling bad. LOL-yes, I actually can be quiet. So, my mom is constantly asking me, "what's wrong?" If I'm staying in my room all day, she keeps coming in and making sarcastic remarks about me staying in my room all day. OMG-she is also one of those people who will mumble under her breath just loud enough so you can still hear it! That is so annoying! Just tell me to my face! And she is literally slamming things around the house and bi****** about everything. I even asked her if she ever said anything positive about anything. She didn't reply to my question.
Anyway, today I was just feeling bad, so I told her that I wasn't hungry this AM. Apparently, she feels that I have to eat at certain times of the day. So, an hour later, she comes barging in and tells me that breakfast is ready. I told her again that I wasn't hungry. Instead of just saying, "OK," she walks out in a big huff and mumbles, "well you can't stay in bed all day." If she would just say that to my face, I would remind her that there isn't any other furniture in my room except a bed. It's not like I was sleeping, God forbid!
Finally, about an hour ago, she comes in and asks me what is wrong. I told her that I just don't feel good, and she flips out and says I'm acting "weird," and they (the doctors) better hurry up and "fix" me. BTW-for those of you that don't know me, my mom has been a nurse for over 40 years. She worked in Hospice for nearly 20 years, and now she is the head night nurse working with palliative care patients. So, why can't she realize that her daughter is sick and in horrible pain? LOL-that's not a rhetorical question, BTW. And why does she think I'm acting weird because I'm not talking to her? LOL, OK, I know you probably think that is weird-me not talking. Anyway, I finally just told her to leave me alone. I know-very mature of me, right? She stomped out of the room mumbling something about me "staying in bed all day." She finally left me alone in the house, so I got on the computer while I don't have someone lurking over my shoulder.
OK, thanks for letting me vent. And, I know what some of you are thinking. Believe me, I love both of my parents, and I'm eternally thankful that they are helping me out right now. I just want them to communicate with me. It's hard to not be defensive when someone starts yelling at you or has an attitude. I told my mom that if she comes at me in a calm way, then I will be calm, too. She has this angry energy that you can't help but pick up. It's a really bad vibe. Honestly, I wish she would tell me why she's so p****d off all the time. The mumbling under her breath thing is toxic to everyone around her.
Alright, I actually feel a little better now. I just needed to get that out. It's really frustrating and humiliating being 36 years old and having to live with your parents. I really hope things get better, soon. I've only been home for 9 days. The one good thing out of all this is that I haven't smoked. LOL-that's a miracle!
Thanks for listening.
FINALLY dxd on 06/13/08
Vicodin, Neurontin, Ibuprofen for pain-which doesn't help, BTW
Zoloft & methadone (NOT for pain) for sanity-which doesn't help, BTW
Klonopin for anxiety (Guess what? Doesn't help!)
Chantix to try to quit smoking (started 08/20/08)
"I'll take the Chivas instead"