process of diagnoses sucks

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 11/25/2008 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Well today i find out i get to have them go down my throat and in my stomach. But of course i have to wait another 1 1/2 months. I have been up all night and my hubby went to sleep. i come home and he goes to bed. I feel alone. I got o sleep thinking i may not wake in the morning, and sometimes hoping i dont. I wish i knew for sure. I feel so weak and feel like i am going to pass out half the time. is that normal? i am very depressed today. i feel unloved. my hubby can be an idiot. it is like he says oh he thinks you may have gallbladder disease. lets watch a movie. he acts like he doesnt care. i dont think anyone ever knows what it is like to be afraid of dying half the time and think it may happen any time, and i dont think they know what its like to be passed around for months or years. it has almost been 10 months. No one understands unless they have been there. who knows it could be ms. i feel like my options are do you want your right leg cut off or your left. Neither is good. I was actually hoping i had diabetes. not that its nice to have to poke yourself, but i thought with proper diet i wouldnt have to be in pain if i monitored. but what do i know. maybe they have pain all the time too. i had only been married 3 months before getting sick. i am thinking he will leave me sooner or later for a perfect bimbo who likes to hike and everything else. i feel all alone. and doc sys i cannot take anything but tylenol for pain, and tylenol has never worked. my insurance is going to change, but i dont know when so that is a mess too...

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 11/25/2008 10:13 PM (GMT -7)   

Sounds like you have way too much going on and stressing over it all. Try to relax and not think about things that could happen. That just makes it worse. You need to take a big breath and just focus on what is going on right now.

My hubby is the same way. He doesn't understand about Fibro, so just pushes it off as nothing. I've learned to accept that and not worry about what others think. I just take one day at a time and work on getting me better.

Sounds like you need a new doc! Someone who understands and treats Fibro. That will change alot of things. It will also help you get the meds you need. Have I already told you about the Fibro 101 thread? (2nd at top of page) I'm sorry if I did, it's been a hard day today, so I'm not thinking all that clear. It does have some excellent advice and things you can try for pain.

With pain and worry comes depression. My doctor gave me something to help with my depression and it has helped me quite a bit. I no longer worry as much and I at least feel like getting out of bed in the morning. Before, I didn't.

I hope you can get things to go better for you. Remember, there is always someone here to listen and help. Please stop worrying (I know that is hard to do!) and your husband married you because he loved you...not some other bimbo. He sounds like a typical guy. Some of them just don't show much feeling and like to blow things off, but deep down they do care.

Good luck & come back whenever you feel the need to talk. We are all in this together!

Hugs!!   Margie

Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17500
   Posted 11/26/2008 1:02 PM (GMT -7)   
The good news is, if you have fibro, you will not die from it.  The bad news is you will have pain and fatigue but you can learn how to control it and still live a full and enjoyable life. 
The endoscopy you are going to have is really a very easy test.  I have had it done several times because I have Crohn's disease along with fibro  It is an outpatient procedure and they will give you an IV and then add a little medication to put you to sleep for about 20 minutes or so.  Then you wake up, all relaxed and you'll have someone drive you home.  That's all there is to it.
Your anxiety seems to have kicked in big time and that can make you breathe weird and feel weak.  Try breathing in through your nose...a large breath...and the blow it out your mouth like you were blowing through a straw.  That will help relax you and it's like you are blowing away some anxiety.  Then start focusing on something you enjoy doing.  It could be reading or watching a movie.  Perhaps working on a craft or just surfing the Net.  I like a hot cup of tea at these times and the anxiety leaves because I'm not dwelling on it. 
I have a scripture in my signature.  I chose this one because anxiety is caused by fear.  You seem to have a fear of dying.  I really think, after all the tests that have been taken already, that if you had a serious illness you would already know about it.  Don't let fear steal your life!  You want to gain control and power over it.  This will, in turn, give you a sound mind. 
So, try to relax and I hope you have a good Thanksgiving.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41836
   Posted 11/26/2008 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
These guys are right, try not to stress over things. It only makes you have more pain and fatigue. It drains you. It does sound like you carry a lot of anxiety, which stems from fear. Try to take your life one day at a time, one minute at a time if you have to. That is the biggest lesson I have learned for fibromyalgia. And actually that has made my life much easier.

Mostly remember that we are here for you. Enjoy your Holiday, make memories.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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