I haven't posted in a long time but I need to today.
I have been having a really hard time. If you've read my posts you know my story and that I'm In kind of a crappy situation. Recently I had some problems at the pain clinic I go to which resulted in me having to call administration because I am so tired of being kicked around by these so called doctors.
The one nurse I have seen twice treated me like I was a piece of garbage and didn't even care what happened to me. She really should not even be a nurse. I told her about
my flare ups and how bad they are. They make me feel because the pain is so bad that I can't escape it an nothing helps. I asked her if there was anything I could do, a medication, that I could take during these episodes to help me through them. She ignored my question.
She left the room and came back and I asked her again about
the flare-ups.( I thought I did a pretty good job of calmly but firmly explaining them to her as I had been up the night before trying to figure out how to relay this to her and not sound crazy but let her know that I really needed help.
She gave me two script
s for things we already discussed...that medicaid does not cover and a fibromyalgia pamphlet that advertised the medicine that I can't get!!! That was an insult to me. I asked her once again about
the flare ups and what OI should do. She snottily told me "We don't give patients medication to make them unconscious" and that was that.
when I had to see her again She didn't remember me and asked me how the two script
s were helping me!!! I could do nothing more than sit there, looking at the wall because if I looked at her I was going to jump on her and go to jail. I asked her if she remembered me.She did not.
After this my primary told me to call and tell them that I wanted to see a doctor because I have been there three times and have only seen nurses. That was a huge ordeal and the receptionist told me I Was not allowed to see anyone else but this nurse. I know this is not true and I fought her on this and she finally made me an appointment with someone else and told me "You are going to HATE her more than the other one." I was so mad I called administration and told them I wanted something done.
The woman in administration I spoke with was very nice but she did tell me flat out that because i am on medicaid, and they pay for nothing, I won't be able to get any beneficial treatments for my pain. I told her, and she agreed, that even if this is so I should not have to be treated like that.
This has been going on for most of my life and I always knew it was because of medicaid. I just never had a person in a position such as hers (head of nursing practices) Tell me that in such a matter-of-fact way. I thanked her for being honest but I really feel like I don't see any point in trying anymore.
I have exhausted all my possibilities as far as I can see and all of my energy. I'm very low right now and feeling like nothing really matters.
My attempts at starting my own business never get off the ground regardless of how much work I put in. I can hardly function at my job anymore. I can't sleep. The pain is so bad that I want to destroy things...anything...and my shrink is a moron.
I have no idea what to do next. I have already gone to school, got a degree,but It's getting to the point where I can't do that work anymore. I have been playing phone tag with a case worker for two weeks now. I have conflicting letters from disability. One says I am ok, the other says they are cutting me off...there are five of these letters and no reply from the person I was told to call. I had to write a letter to the office asking for them to explain. Sent it last week.. still no reply.
I live in limbo. I would really like to be able to see the positive side of any of this never ending bull crap!!!!!
So what are people supposed to do? They have basically told me over and over that I don't matter.
Post Edited By Moderator (Sherrine) : 12/8/2008 3:37:54 PM (GMT-7)