Hi all, I am just having a very sad & gloomy day. Today is one of those days when I don't feel like I have the energy or drive to deal with this DD anymore. I know I have to but that doesn't make it any easier. I have been going round & round with my sleeping pattern. I get in these downward spirals between insomnia (due to the FM) & sleeping for hours 10-15 (due to the ME/CFS). I have no control over either. I take cyclobenzaprine & melatonin 5mg sublingual every night so I can sleep but once this starts I am at the mercy of my DD's. I am at a point where I have no life. I am up all night while everyone else sleeps & asleep while everyone is up. Sometimes this will go on for months at a time before it lets up. I am sorry I am having a tough time explaining this. I have tried to explain it to my family & friends but they never seem to understand how bad it is. They think I should just be able to finally go to sleep one night & get up the next morning & all will be fine. It just doesn't work that way. I know. Over 4 years I have tried everything I can think of & just finally came to the realization that this is it, this is my life with Fibro & CFS. I have reached the point of being unable to go do anything with anyone because I can't say when I will be awake or even if I am, that I will feel like doing something.
Now the snow has come & I feel really trapped. It feels like it has piled ontop of me & the weight is just to much. I hate whining but I thought maybe if I vented I would feel better tomorrow. I know the day will come when I will feel ok again & in charge & in control (somewhat). But today I am sad. I hate snow, it always represents to me illness, fatigue & depression. I do have my trusty full spectrum light but I can never tell if it really does any good. Well, I hope I feel better tomorrow. I hope you all are doing well. Love & hugs, Denise
I have: Fibromyalgia, CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, depression
Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren.