I don't get this

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 12/18/2008 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I was doing well, I had a handle on this stupid DD. For a bit, I thought I was actually cured! Then I forgot my malic acid, and things have been spiraling out of control. That's why I haven't been posting, I would just complain anyway. And I've been feeling too sick to sit at the computer for long.

So, like I said I forgot my malic acid. The fatigue and aches came back, big time. Then at about 2 weeks, I started to feel better, so I started exercising again. This made me feel like collapsing. Slowly my strength came back, but then the pain started back in. Just when I thought I had a handle on this new me, things have changed again. I had a hard time dealing with the pain, but it was slowly abating to levels I could live with, or have a life with, if you catch my drift. Now came the fatigue again, and sleepiness! I had 2 naps yesterday, another huge nap today, and I still don't feel rested. I've had to give up shifts at work, and when I do go, I go home early. In this new economy, I'm not sure how long my job is secure if they can't count on me. And I can't do anything with the kids. I took the baby outside yesterday, and had to go back in after pulling her on the sled for a couple turns of the driveway.

I have to get things done around the house, last minute touches for Christmas. But more then the things that need doing, I don't have a life right now. My dh has really been pulling up the slack, but he has to start getting annoyed with me soon. I would if he was sleeping all the time. And I don't get why things have changed so much! The weather? I payed attention to the pressure, but other than a rise in pain when it drops, I am still tired and achy no matter what it's doing outside. I've been taking amitrityline for some time now, I don't see why it would affect me now. And I've raised the malic acid to 4 tablets/ day a week after I realized I first forgot it. But why would it stop working for me? I hate having to struggle through each day like this.

Sorry about the vent. I know this is all stuff that you've all gone through, and then some. But I was wondering if you had any advice for me? Maybe it's the stress of the holidays, and I'll feel better when it's done, I don't know. This doesn't feel exactly like a flare. I had one when I first forgot my pills. Now it feels more like a worsening of my normal. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you for listening to this long rambling post. The kids are playing football, and the noise is very distracting!
Waiting for appointment with rheumy (March 2009) to get an official dx. waiting, waiting, waiting....
Taking malic acid/magnesium combo, what a life saver! and amitriptyline

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2858
   Posted 12/18/2008 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey girl...The holidays are stressful for people that don't have fibro.  I'm sure that has something to do with how you feel.  We fibromites cannot count on anything...like pills that once worked now don't....certain tasks that we could eek through are suddenly impossibe...people that once accepted our pain complaints now roll their eyes...You know what I mean.  Christmas, especailly if you have small children that are so excited and wait for this time all year long, can unfortunatley, be a painful, depressing holiday for those of us who are flaring, tired and worn out.  What we could once accomplish in three or four days now takes weeks...I got the tree up and it sat without ornaments for almost five days!  I wrapped three gifts and had to get out the heating pad.

Don't feel guilty..you can't help how you feel and I'm sure your husband understands and will lend a hand.  My husband, who has this flu that is going around AND has shingles along with it had to unload the dishwasher this morning because I couldn't lift my arms high enough to get the dishes in the cupboards.  And I took a three hour nap today too!

Be kind to yourself...you'll feel better and those who love you will understand.





fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 726
   Posted 12/18/2008 3:19 PM (GMT -7)   

mamanan, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time of it.  I have found that stress of anykind will do me in.  Even something I will be looking forward to will cause enough stress or excitement to put me in bed. 

I have been to that place several times, where I think "Wow, I think I am through the worst of it & now can have a life".  I have tried to control this illness with a grip of steel, OK as a fibromite that may be overstating it.  LOL But I did think it was in my power to make or break it.  Everytime I think I have it, then it slams me down to the ground so fast I don't see it coming.  I have learned to take each day as I can. 

I am glad we have a place to vent & to share the good & the bad of our lives with this illness.  I hope things get better for you.  I know you want to make things perfect for your kids but whatever you do will be perfect for them.  There were many times when my girls were little that I couldn't do what I wanted, what I had in my head.  Now that they are adults it isn't those things I fretted & stewed about that they remember with fondness.  It is the talking we did or teaching them to cook or playing a game or just being there for them when they were down. 

Warm hugs, Denise

 I have:  Fibromyalgia, CFS, Holt-Oram Syndrome, nasal allergies, depression

Married to a wonderful supportive husband & between us we have 4 children & 7 grandchildren.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 17528
   Posted 12/18/2008 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Mamanan, fibromyalgia fluctuates.  Also, you may have pushed yourself with too much exercise.  This is a time of stress and that plays into the fibro.  Also, this economy is stressful for anyone that isn't a billionaire. 
The past couple of weeks I have been quite miserable.  I've had the fatigue and one day I couldn't keep my eyes open.  Fatigue doesn't usually bother me.  Then the pain was horrible and I was taking all the meds I am allowed.  But, it has gotten better now. 
I did get a massage yesterday and last night, after drinking gallons of water and running to the bathroom every 20 minutes, I felt like she had taken a baseball bat to me.  I could barely move and I thought Christmas was going to be a bust.  But, today I am much better.  Fibro is so fickle that you just don't know from day to day how you will be. 
I do hope you get some relief and please pace yourself...especially throughout the holidays.  Otherwise, you will be in more pain.
Forum Moderator/ Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia, Crohn's Disease, Ostomy, Diabetes, Autoimmune Inner Ear Disease, Osteoporosis
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.    2 Timothy 1:7

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41934
   Posted 12/18/2008 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
I know how you are feeling. I was worrying about Christmas shopping. I noticed that my anxiety was up and so was the pain and fatigue. Also the weather hasn't been all that nice.

But once I got the shopping done and the gifts wrapped, I felt a lot better. No more stress and much less pain. Maybe the stress of the holidays is playing a part in all of this.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 12/18/2008 5:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much girls. It's amazing what a little commiseration (sp, is this the right word? I'm too tired to think :P) Anyway, to be able to go somewhere where others understand. I think my downfall is that I always think that this is the way things will be from now on. I KNOW that's not the case, but it's still scary to think that I'm always going to struggle this much. And the worst is that I thought I had things under control this holiday. I cut back on everything, baking, decorations, I didn't even do crafts with the kids this year. That has bothered me, but I think they understand. And yet I still feel like I can hardly get through the day! All I have to do is wrap some gifts, which dh has been able to do lots of, finish my scrapbook album, and get my mom's and sister's parcels ready. They are away for Christmas, so it doesn't even matter if they are late. And yet I may not get done, sigh.

Thank you so much. Where would I be without your support?
Have a wonderful holiday, I hope everyone can enjoy it fully. (((HUGS)))
Waiting for appointment with rheumy (March 2009) to get an official dx. waiting, waiting, waiting....
Taking malic acid/magnesium combo, what a life saver! and amitriptyline

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 846
   Posted 12/18/2008 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I forgot to say, I'm giving in, for today anyway. I'm off to put the kids to bed, and I'm going to do the same. Tomorrow is another day, adn it may be the day that I feel better, so I better rest up! I can't remember the last time I went to bed that early, lol.
Waiting for appointment with rheumy (March 2009) to get an official dx. waiting, waiting, waiting....
Taking malic acid/magnesium combo, what a life saver! and amitriptyline

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 12/19/2008 5:28 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear mamanan (and everyone else) Have a peaceful, love packed holliday. Why we women and mothers and homemakers, abd caregivers put so much pressure on ourselves, particularly at Christmas, but through-out the year too, I don't understand. My tree has been up for two weeks. It has 1 string of lights,  2 Garlands and eight ornaments. The rest of the ornaments are sitting in a bowl in the middle of our dining room table and I look at that tree, which I went and cut, and drug home and decorated this far, and I smell that fir tree smell and admire the beauty of the plain tree itself. I am quite satisfied if it stays like this until New Years when I take it down. The tree is beautiful so dang hang the ornaments. If someone objects I'll point to the ornaments on the table and say "have at it people" I did my bit. The same with christmas baking, I will make a cake.That's it folks.Anyone elsewant to bake, great. I have a few presents, I need to pick up about three more, nothings wrapped. My Dad, even with Alzheimers, always was a great present wrapper, so I'll be giving that job to him. It's like Occupational Therapy.

When I hear you mamanan, saying your dh is going to get tired of you being ill, and sleeping a lot, kindly picture the scenario in reverse. What if it was he, who was laying in bed, in pain, how would you treat him. Would you get angry at him because he is sick? I think not. Why we twist ourselves into pretzels over the coulda, shoulda, woulda's, I don't know. I call it "going hunting" for trouble. (90%) of what we worry about never comes to pass. The other 10% I recognise as God's plan for us, lessons learned, etc.  And always, when I feel lousy, I look around at my beautiful surrondings, my beautiful 1yr. plus puppy who is smarter than all get out, the 2.5 pure white cats living downstairs (they don't care for the dogs), my 12 or 13 year old loyal companion, very large rotty type dog who has lived and travelled with me everywhere, in all sorts of good and bad situations, the roof over my head, and I ask myself, what have I got to be dissatisified with?

There are these days that crop up every once in a while, sometimes they last longer but we only get 1 day at a time so let's no quibble about that, these days which I identify as "days to be gotten through". That's it. I do the absolute least I have to do, make sure everyone is fed and watered, make sure nobody is in worse shape than me, and I just "get through" them.  All I have to do, besides the absolute basics, is survive that one day. Nothing to it. I sure hope you start feeling better and if you don't, please be kind and gentle with yourself as you would be with a loved one. 

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 83
   Posted 12/19/2008 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   


Sorry to hear about your day.... I hope today will be a better day for you!!! Take care!!!

Wishing everyone a pain free day, ((((hugs))))
Partial thyoidectamy (hyperthyroidism), fibrocystic breast disease, low blood pressure, hypertension, depression, and anxiety, severe headaches, joint and muscle pain due to fibromyalgia.
Cymbalta, Tramadol (ultram), Propranolol, and Alprazolam (xanax)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 12/19/2008 7:27 AM (GMT -7)   

This is the first winter with fibro for me and the cold weather is giving me more pain and fatigue. I too have had to nap. Hope today is better and we "will" get through these holidays!

Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

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