Does anyone have one specific fear that acts as a stresser for in your life?

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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 605
   Posted 1/1/2009 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Mine is my Mom.  She is 77 years old and lives in the senior apartments next door to me.  We have knocked heads many times on many things.  She is the most stubborn person I have ever known.  If I say its black she says its white.  The thing now is her staying up way too late at night and into the morning and then she gets very tired and weak and falls in her bedroom.  So far she has been pretty lucky with a cut head and now a broken toe plus tons of other bumps and bruises.  When she fell and cut her head on the corner of the bathroom sink she sat in the bathroom for hours bleeding.  She takes blood thinner and the wound wouldnt quagulate so she just let it bleed hoping it would stop and not 2 feet from her head is an emergency medic pull cord!!!! but she was too embarrassed to pull it.  She could have bled to death!!  I tell her she needs to get on a more reg sleeping schedule and she will agree but never does it.  This also screws up when she takes her medications.  She is now on Lyrica and at first she took it when she was supposed to and it helped her pain alot. 
Now I go over there and check her pills and the vicodin(I think she self medicates with it when she is feeling depressed) will be almost gone but theres tons of Lyrica so she isnt taking them.  She says oh I slept too late and needed to take my vicodin and I cant take the 2 meds too close together.  I said if you went to bed by midnight you wouldnt be sleeping til 2pm each day and you wouldnt miss taking your medicine,round and round we go.  And the thing that bothers me the most and its something that never leaves my mind is that with me basically being my moms caretaker I will be the one who finds her when she dies.  Everyday when I put that key in the lock and go into her home I call out her name and if she doesnt answer it makes my blood run cold.  Specially if she is sleeping during the middle fo the afternoon.  The tension mounts as soon as I see that her kitchen blinds arent open which means she wasnt up and around in the house.  I keep playing it over and over in my head about what I will do whe she finally does die.  And it all ends with me getting hysterical because my mom is finally gone and will never be there again. 
As much as she makes me mad she is going to leave a huge hole in my heart when she not there anymore.  My parents divorced when I was 4 so it was just us kids and mom when we were growing up and then as an adult several times when romances didnt work out it was mom I ran to and stayed with and cried with.  The extra stress causes way more pain but how do you get around that, you cant because its in your lap and your responsibility.  So I want to know what is the biggest stressor in your life?
Soft Hugs,

Mom of one gramma to 4 lover to One
Fibromyalgia,IBS,Stroke x2,endometriosis,Diabetes type 2,neuropathic pain,nerve damage due to tailbone removel,nerve damage due to fractured back,deppresion,high blood pressure,severe nausea,atrophy,chronic pain,nerve damage due to botched bladder surgery,torn hip joint,hypoglycymic
Norco(double strength vicodin) 80 to 100 mg @ day
Ms Contin(morphine) 45 mg @ day,Lyrica 600mg @ day

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41821
   Posted 1/1/2009 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   

I really understand what you are going through, I took care of my grandmother in her home as long as I could, eventually she had to go to a nursing home. I felt horrible about it, but I knew that she was getting good care there and that there were people around at all times. I think that you should give yourself a break. Try to take it one day at a time and not worry so much. Things will happen as they are suppose to.

I think my main stressor is to pay my taxes. The property taxes that is. They worry me and I am always behind. I just don't have the money and I don't want to lose my home over it. But I still try not to worry because that doesn't get them paid any quicker. So it is one day at a time for me too.

You are a good daughter and the light of your mother's life. She is so lucky to have you.

Best wishes, stay warm. I remember that in your other post you were talking about the snow and rain coming.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 1/1/2009 7:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I would have to say the biggest stressor in my life is my health.  I have a very supportive husband, family, friends.  Thankfully they are here in the same city to help me and love me.  That takes some of the stress off.  My health is one gong show after another, and over the past 8 or so years, I've had an emergency or two every year.  That is stressful!
Having to work is a big stressor for me too.  I'd like to not have to work so hard....
*Sigh*.  Life is hard isn't it.  We do what we can to find ways to cope each day. I do my best to live according to the scripture in my signature line.  Prayer and faith gets me through!
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

34 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums

Sera Smiles
Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 671
   Posted 1/1/2009 8:56 PM (GMT -7)   
My biggest stressor is my munchie mother. If I could get past the past, if I could confront it with a seriously good therapist, I believe I could move beyond it. I have made great progress over the past few years to get where I am now, but I know I can go further. I only just discovered in the past year that her actions of my childhood would earn a diagnosis of munchausen mother today. After some great therapy sessions a couple of years ago, many pieces fell into place, and that helped me move further from her being able to continue the abuse an adult [but 'hello' you know she tries.] I have put some real distance between us so she can't reach out and hurt me so easily, but I need to take it a step further so I can truly forgive her for her horrible abuse and get rid of that black hole in my life. Please pray that I will find the therapist I need to help me deal with this so I won't add 2009 to the long list of years that I have lost to this.
 "It's never too late to be who you might have been"  George Eliot
Dx FM- 2003
Rx Meds- Ultram, Buspar, Flexeril, Toprol, Cymbalta,
OTC meds- Benadryl, Claritin, Melatonin, Valerian, B Complex, Multi Vitamin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 519
   Posted 1/1/2009 9:38 PM (GMT -7)   


I am sorry what you are going through with your mom.You are a good daughter to look after her & I know it has to be hard. I went through the same thing with my dad. We first moved him into senior apartments in town. I felt the same way you did every day that I went over after work. We finally had to move him to our home because he was falling more & more. It was a very sad and hard time in our lives, but I don't regret any of it. I was glad I was with him till the end.

You need to stop worrying so much(easy to say, I know). As Karen said, take it one day at a time. At least you are spending time with your mom fighting or not! Things will happen as they should no matter what we do sometimes, so try to just enjoy the time you are spending with her now.

Now to get to my biggest stressor right now....I would have to say it is my health and disability. Things just keep getting worse and I am down to working one day a week. I am lucky that I set my own hours and can answer calls at home, otherwise I would have been fired by now. I know the day is coming soon that I will have to file. I am just stressed over the whole thing and it is all I think about every day besides my pain!

Hugs!!    Margie

Never regret something that made you smile!

Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis*Sleep Apnea*Restless Leg Syndrome * Depression*Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1522
   Posted 1/1/2009 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
My biggest stresser is money. I can't afford to get necessary dental work for myself; my teeth hurt, it's hard to eat the right foods, and I can't stand to look in a mirror. We don't have any savings. We aren't in debt yet but I can see it coming.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 368
   Posted 1/1/2009 10:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Im sorry about your circumstances.  My biggest fear is something will happen with doc or spec and I will no longer get the meds I need and I couldnt manange without them.

Fibromyalgia, ulcerative colonitus, arthritus, bi-polar
norspan patch, valium, prothiedon, lyrica

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 1/2/2009 7:00 PM (GMT -7)   
My mom and my middle child. She has been severely depressed after my brothers death in 07 and my grandma in august.
Prior to that she had a ton of mental and health issues so its only gotten worse. My middle child is ADHD and having a terrible time adjusting to 7th grade. He scores at college level on his state exams but due to his lack of organization w/turning in homework he could very well fail 7th grade. I'e done everything I can do except hand in the work for him. I hae an IEP (individualized education plan) set up and I'm in regualr contact with teachers and the special ed director. My psyc dr tells me I need to work on my control issues and learn to set boundaries. it is just very difficult!
Dee-38yrs old 
Diagnosed with UC in 2004-PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression in 2007 & Fibromyalgia 2008
750mg colozal 3 pills 3x a day, .625mg clonazepam, 7.5mg Lexapro
1,000mg canasa suppositories (PM),
 Fioricet-Migraines, Prilosec-Not sure(Heartburn/GERD), Fish Oils
Upper GI and Bowel Series 11/08

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 257
   Posted 1/2/2009 11:20 PM (GMT -7)   
My biggest stressor: being married to a pastor. And, he just had a heart attack - his second in 5 years. Now he is talking disability retirement. He is 60, and I am 46.

I haven't worked since September, and am waiting for private disability insurance to make a determination on my claim. I have not had any money since then. I have no idea if or when I'll be able to go back to work. Still playing with meds to control my pain. And then, how am I supposed to work if I'm on pain meds all day? I am an insurance agent, and mistakes could be VERY costly to my clients, and to my boss.

I hate asking my husband for money. He told me today he couldn't give me grocery $ until he paid bills. Now, I'm wondering what we are supposed to do for food. And, he is supposed to be on a heart healthy diet. The last time I asked him for $ for my car payment, he said, "this has to stop". Well, dear, I'd love it to, just like I'd love to stop the fibromyalgia. He was able to take the money out of his savings. I have no savings, just growing credit card debt.

I'm stressed that if he decides he needs to go on disability retirement from work (his main stressor is his work), then we run the risk of losing our home, since the we get a housing allowance from the church that pays our mortgage and utilities. I'm stressed that if he decides he needs to ask for a move (to lower his stress, cuz this little church cannot afford his tenured salary), then we may have to sell our house, pack and move. I just don't know what I would do then.

I feel like I'm in a catch-22 situation. I know I'm not alone. Alot of others have it much worse than I do. I have my faith as well - in God, who I know has a plan (sometimes I wish he would share) and that he can take this stressful time and use it for His good.
Still learning how to manage my Fibromylagia, and all the lovely gifts it brings.   
I had severe spinal stenosis, had fusion done on C5-7, and my life has changed. 

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