Hi there! Some of us are over on the Denial Aisle if you'd care to join us. There's plenty of room.
We've suffered a loss, right? We've lost part of our health and also our expectations of what life would be like and maybe our plans for the future. There is a grief process that we all have to do through to deal with these things. I mean .... how can a person understand such drastic changes all at once? Well, we can't. There's no way.
So people have to go through the "grief cycle" to deal with this stuff. Shock, disbelief, anger, bargaining, and then several stages of acceptance.
lol ... I know where I am right now. I'm no stranger to the Loss Department, and it helps to understand the grief process ... but I don't think it speeds up the adjustment. Time has to work its magic.
Have you talked to a therapist? They are so understanding and have so much insight. My wife and I spent an hour yesterday with my psych ARNP and it helped SO much.
Wed. we talked to my Lyme doc (she's fantastic) and I think I'm getting it. The 6 months of oral ABX are just to set up the IV ones. I discussed the brain fog with her, explained my coping skills for working around those bad days at my job, and then asked, "Am I really "fit for duty" for this work (engineer)?" She was very soft about it, but basically said, "That's inappropriate for the kind of work you've been doing. If you go back to work it'll be in a different capacity."
So that's a lot all at once. We're probably headed for the IV treatments, I have several Herx cycles to go through, I'm likely not going back to work, and, if I do, it'll be something different than what I've done for the last 35 yrs. Think I can deal with all that at once? I don't think so.
I do know that I have a great health care team and loving wife to help me with all of this. I have faith in them. I also know that I'm not even healthy enough to worry about some of it right now.
Marriage is an ebb and flow. It's a team. There will be times when you will "be there" for you husband and help him in the unique way that only you can do. It all works out. It's OK that it doesn't seem "fair" every day.
I'm wondering if it's worth the energy to even worry about those who don't understand your condition. I have a very limited energy budget, and I'm thinking fibromites also have a very limited pain budget. My wife understands. When we're out with other family members who don't see us much, I just tell them I'm out of energy, call a time out, and go sit down for a while. After a rest, I can join in again for some more (or not). It's something I have to do whether they understand it or not. I don't need their approval to take the rest I know I need.
I think this forum is great. The people here are so helpful. And it really helps to talk about some of this with people who understand.
Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae
"... expect the unexpected ..." (O. Wilde)
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." (Mark Twain)