HELP! Not Fibro-related, but having to do with another illness

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Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 1/24/2009 5:02 AM (GMT -7)   
HI AGAIN :-) ,
I was in an out-patient program at a near-by hospital in december (due to a bad Bipolar episode), actually around the time I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. A therapist there had said that I may have had a type of personality disorder.. I had LOVED this certain therapist because she was funny and yet sensitive, she listened, and was not much older than me so I felt I could relate to her. BUT for some reason I didn't take her diagnosis seriously, I kind of brushed it off because for one: I've never even HEARD OF this particular disorder.. I mean everyone's heard of borderline personality disorder and ones like that, especially because of the famous movie Girl Interrupted, but this certain disorder I was diagnosed with was called Dependent Personality Disorder.. I guess it's kind of along the idea of Codependency if any of you are familiar with that term..
Without mentioning the name of the disorder, I discussed certain issues of mine with my psychiatrist the other day at my appointment.. like how I am constantly needing to be with my husband or someone else, can't EVER be alone.. and how my husband gets upset that I never want to do anything on my own and how I'm incredibly dependent on everyone around me, especially my parents still even though I have been moved out of their house for a long time now....
Well, long behold, after my psychiatrist asking me a series of questions and asking about my history and relationships with others, he has indeed diagnosed me with Dependent Personality Disorder. I haven't even discussed it yet with my husband; I guess it's all just "sinking in" to my head now, I feel afraid and I don't know why.. I guess it has just been a tough 3 years for me: being diagnosed with Bipolar AND Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in 2007, then Fibromyalgia in 2008, and NOW this.. All of which of course have altered my life dramatically. I feel like I am not strong enough to deal with all of this and I crave to feel "normal" like I once did.
Has anyone ever heard of this personality disorder or has known anyone with it personally????? As you can see I've had to change my signature (again rolleyes rolleyes shakehead )
Thank you so much for listening and reading this! I'll appreciate anyone's answers and support.
21 years old
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2858
   Posted 1/24/2009 5:45 AM (GMT -7)   

Jenna...All I can say is that I suffered from agoraphobia for many years and I ALWAYS had to have a 'safe' person around me at all times.  When my husband went to work, I would look outside and see if there was anyone else home in the neighborhood 'in case of a panic attack emergency'.  When my parents moved out of town I really paniked.  I had three small children and was afraid to drive them alone in the to the point that if my husband was outside and I couldn't see him, would go out and follow him around. (this all happened during my first marriage).  They didn't call it Dependent Personality Disorder...they called it agoraphobia because I wouldn't go into stores alone, drive alone and felt disoriented out of my own house.

Don't know if this is what you are experiencing, but after my divorce, it slowly dissipated even though there are still times I  panic if the second hubby is several hours late from work or something.  I discovered through therapy that my first husband actually made the condition worse because he had no sympathy for it and would purposely do things like send me into a store, then take off to 'get the car washed' or something without telling me, thinking this would 'snap me out of it.' 

All I can say is I know what you are going matter how they define this condition!
fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

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Date Joined Aug 2007
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   Posted 1/24/2009 7:07 AM (GMT -7)   
When I was having horrible anxiety attacks 10 or 11 years ago I hated being alone and like Donna would look out to see which neighbors were home. I would call my DH and he would stay on the phone with me til the xanax kicked in. Even now if I'm having some weird symptoms I get anxiety if my DH is not in our small town.
So I guess with me it all has to do with how I'm feeling physically. When I'm feeling okay I love being alone.
I've not heard of this as a disorder Jenna but I can understand it.
luv and hugs
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Date Joined Jun 2008
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   Posted 1/24/2009 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Jeesh, I think they have a disorder for everything!

I too was borderline agoraphobic like Donna when I was in my early twenties and did not want to be alone. Who does when you don't know why your having all this anxiety and think your going crazy??? Once I got help and realized what it was, it became easier and easier for me. Now, if I am feeling OK mentally and physically I have no problem being alone. When the fibro first hit me last winter I was very, very sick and I did not want to be left alone and now that I have my health back it is not a problem.

You have been through alot. Be gentle on yourself and let us know how you are doing-


Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 1/24/2009 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   

I have heard of folks who cannot be alone. I'm quite the opposite. I like my private time and space. However, I heard a story which your post reminded me of. There was an elderly woman, say eightyish, and she was married to a man 20 years her junior, and she swore elves were sneaking in at night and moving things around so she couldn't find anything. She was thought to have the Paranoid Personality disorder, and started complaining to police and doctors and so on about elves coming in the night. Well hubby, absolutely backed her up saying he'd seen them, himself. He was thought to have Dependent Personality. I wouldn't worry to much unless you find yourself seeking anybody, non-discriminatorily, (whew, is that a word? ), accepting any old bodys presence to feel OK. 

Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 376
   Posted 1/24/2009 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow Jenna.  You've just described my step-daughter perfectly.  She has the same "I can't stand to be alone" feeling.  Over the last several years she has developed a codpendent relationship with her "former" boyfriend.  They are playing out the rescuer/victim roles.  These are always multi-sided things and it takes more than one person to keep the cycle going.  In your out-patient program did you discuss the Karpman Drama Triangle?  If not, you might want to talk to you talk to your therapist about it.  We all know the three roles - persecutor, rescuer, victim - and can play them out as we change positions on the triangle.  Things get more difficult when we spend most of our time in one role.  It could be that you are playing out the "victim" role while others in your life are being the "rescuers". 
My step-daughter was just in an out-patient program and I think that helped.  She went to a codependency support group last week.  She opened up in the meeting and everyone told her the obvious - dump the old boy friend and move on.  She came home in tears and was totally shaken.  But .... for the first time she was starting to accept her codependency.  She is taking this term off from school and is at home with us two "old people".  And I'm in a very low energy condition ... well anyway, she needed to get out of the house soooo bad last night .... with some encouragement from my wife she went to a movie by herself last night.  Baby steps!
I'm wondering if there might be a support group near you that you could go to.  Anyways, I know the knd of struggles my step-daughter is having so I can  relate to the difficult time you are having.
Consider yourself "virtually hugged".

Lyme, anxitey, depression, chronic C. Pnuemoniae
"... expect the unexpected ..."  (O. Wilde)
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." (Mark Twain)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 1/24/2009 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh wow, thank you guys so much for your support.. this has just been a rough few years for me and I keep hoping each year will get better... eyes But Rich, I totally understand what you have said about me being the "victim" and everyone else around me being the "rescuers".. that is how it has always been with me.. My husband isn't so much a "rescuer" though, just everyone else, my husband actually has been trying to break me of this forever now (in a nice manner, not anything too extreme).. nothing seems to help though. I think I'll speak to my psychiatrist about this, and maybe even go back to my old therapist, and maybe discuss the little steps I can take to getting better with this. Some sessions with my hubby sound like a good idea as well!!
Hah, and I always wondered in my teenage years why if I lost a boyfriend I went right on to the next guy rolleyes nono  Peers viewed me as very attention-seeking and even "getting around" among all the guys.. but that wasn't EVER the case at all.. people just don't understand, I needed to be comforted with "belonging" to someone. I thank you all so much for understanding and sharing your own experiences with me.
And tyno, don't worry, I seem to only be dependent now on my family and friends, and husband mostly of course.. I don't just "seek" anyone.. I'll admit maybe I once did when I was younger, but you live and you learn I guess eyes  
I finally did discuss this with my hubby and opened up to him, and he told me that it's okay, he'll still continue to help me through things, and that he loves me how I am :-)  And Rich, I am sorry your step-daughter is in a codependent relationship like that.. I used to be too a lot in my much younger years. She's young yet, and it's great she's taking things one day at a time.. she'll get better :-) Let me know if you need to talk about it or anything.
I wonder if there are support groups around me for this type of disorder confused
21 years old
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 368
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I see a phyc and am bipolar, obsessive compulsive Totally Dependant on others. I dont leave the house on my own and I have fibro as well.  Although I have not been diagnosed with what you have said I have all the symptoms. When my husband goes to work I literally feel him tugging his hand back. Im afraid to go out.  The fibro makes everything worse  The symptems you have mentioned are very common, try not worrry. I even managed to get to the letter box other day..        sue2z

Fibromyalgia, ulcerative colonitus, arthritus, bi-polar
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Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/24/2009 11:15 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jenna,

Such wonderful responses...just one thought as it's late. Please don't be afraid. By giving you a diagnosis, 3 big words, it didn't change you at all. All it did was give your medical team something to try and treat. You are still the same Jenna you were before the diagnosis but now you have a better chance of getting the help you need to live a more normal life. That's a good thing!!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 1/25/2009 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Aww, you are so right, Chutzie, thank you so very much! And Sue, I am glad that someone relates to me so closely, I hope you are doing well today!
21 years old
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore
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