It's My Party and I'll cry if I want to!!!

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/27/2009 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
So today is my 31st birthday. I had dinner with my family and my grandmother asked me if I felt 31. How incredibly ridiculous and unfair is it that my reply was "I wish I felt like I was 31!" I am so sick and tired of feeling like an old lady all of the time (no offense to any of you who are wiser than myself). I just can't help feeling like I will never feel young and vivacious again. How did I go from riding bikes with my kids and water skiing to sitting on the couch and watching my kids grow up. This dd is not fair to them. I know what it's like to grow up with a mom who doesn't do anything active with you and it's no fun. What do I do when going to work is the extent of what my body will let me do? My house is a wreck and the laundry just keeps piling up. I try to do a few small chores at a time but it just never gets done. Are there any other single moms out there? If so, how do you do it without sending yourself into a never ending cycle of flares?

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 139
   Posted 1/27/2009 7:49 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm 19 and feel like fibro has absolutely distroyed my youth. I too wish I felt 31! Instead of going out with my friends, I spend the weekend crying on the couch, unable to move. I'm not going to have those crazy, fun memories of college because of this disorder. I try to get out and do things, but as you well know, it's just not the same.
Fibromyalgia: 2008

Effexor 150 mg, Flexril 5 mg, Gabapentin 600 mg

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 9090
   Posted 1/27/2009 11:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cindy!

I'm so sorry that fibro seems to be ruining your life. Even though people can't 'see' our disorder it's one of the hardest to live with. The constant pain, fogginess, being tired so much of the time...and feeling down and even depressed. We all know those feelings but being young makes it even harder.

I am one of those 'older ones' but not sure how wise I But I do have a couple of comments. I hope they help.

First, I too have a hard time getting motivated but that may have a lot to do with serotonin levels that many of us are deficient in. Plus if depression is playing a part there's just no way you cat get yourself up and moving. But there is help! Many people take small doses of an antidepressants to help with fibro pain. Others take the normal dose to treat depression. If we were to ask how many people take these kinds of med's, I'll bet even I would be surprised how many do. You may want to ask your doc about this. If you do try one please don't give up if the first one doesn't work. I went through several until I found one that my body likes. I take a tiny dose and it makes a huge difference.

Then, you might think about counseling. No, you're not crazy, but this is a major insult to your system physically and emotionally. You were vibrant and fun loving and now you feel tired and useless. I'm here to tell you that you CAN live a wonderful life with fibro in tow. It's a matter of managing medication (if you choose), gentle exercise, pushing yourself sometimes, warmth for those painful muscles and a good diet and plenty of rest. Sound simple??? No way! But it can be done and there are many other family members here who are living proof of it.

This forum has saved my life. Oh, I would still be alive without it but I would have not 'life' in my life. ;-) And those talked about spending time with your kids. Have them help with those chores. You'd be amazed how good they'll feel for helping mom. Talk to them about it in an age appropriate way. They will be there for you! Mine have but even more so my grandson has. He's my best buddy and helps me when ever I need something.

Feel free to cry when you need to...I do...then we'll work on making those happy tears instead of sad ones. So take my hand (extending hand) and we'll walk this life of fibro together. I can't promise every day will be sunshine and roses, but you will have more good days than bad.

Co-Moderator Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Forums
Fibromyalgia, Ulcerative Colitis, Insulin dependent diabetic, PTSD, dermatitis herpetiformus, osteoarthritis and a few other side dishes.
Happiness is something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 41902
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Chutzie gave you such good advice, all I can do is reinforce that and I would like to wish you all a wonderful painfree day.

Keep on keeping on.

luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:47 AM (GMT -7)   

Happy Birthday Dear Cindy!!!

Listen to Chutzie.. she has some great advice!!!  She's always been there for me and others in this forum. 

Ahhh to be 31 again.  I only felt like I was 61 in those days, now that I'm 51 I only feel like I'm 81.. LOL.. just a little humor there to hopefully make you smile  smilewinkgrin  

Once you get  a handle on this DD and get your meds straight, you can have a better life.  Yes, it's difficult but it can and will happen if you give it a little time and a lot of patience. 

Be well and warm hugs,

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 120
   Posted 1/28/2009 6:56 AM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean. I just turned 35 last month and most days, like today, I feel 60. I have two boys at home, one is 14 and the other is 10. The only girl in the house I try to keep up but can't. My hubby is very active and snowmobiling is a big thing for us. My hubby got a new sled this year. I went on it for about five minutes and was in pain for days. Instead of me taking care of my ten year old he takes care of me. It's so depressing.
Fibro, interstitial cystitis, migraines, rotated femur, bunion on rt ft, hiatal hernia, for just a few.

reglan, prilosec otc, nadol, citrilipram,amitriptyline, and peroxicam, and vicodin.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 1/28/2009 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY, CINDY!!!!!!!!! :-) :-)
Orlo, I didn't realize you were 19!... and I know exactly how you feel, I stay at home a lot too instead of going out with friends like most 21 year olds are doing mad
21 years old
Fibromyalgia, Bipolar, OCD, Dependent Personality Disorder
"You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -Mary Tyler Moore

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 48
   Posted 1/28/2009 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for all of your advice. I wish it seemed as simple as seeking counseling and getting my kids to help with the cleaning. There are some things I have left out. I don't even know where to start, but here goes...

My oldest daughter, Alex (8) was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD, OCD, and ODD recently. Asking her to brush her teeth is hard enough. It takes her almost two hours to get ready for school in the morning and she still leaves something behind. I have tried to make cleaning a family thing but it always seems like more of a headache than it's worth. She eventually throws a temper tantrum and I give up.

As for the counseling, I was seeing a psychologist long enough for her to tell me that I'm severely depressed and have anxiety stemming from financial issues as well as Alex's medical condition. This is when we decided that the 20mg. of Cymbalta I was taking every other day wasn't enough to help my depression. She suggested that I see a Psychiatrist and that is where I am now. I chose not to continue seeing her because frankly, the source of my financial stress is paying countless amounts of Dr. and prescription copays and neglecting the bills that I already had. Oh and also I can't tell you how uncomfortable and plain annoying it is to stare out the window of the woman's office thinking absolutely nothing and have her say "you look like you're deep in thought. What are you thinking about?" I couldn't even come up with an answer for that one. I was just enjoying the one moment of my day during which I was not required to do any thinking.

I know I sound extremely negative right now, but that's just the way I feel. I'm working on finding a good Psychiatrist in my area but lately I feel like everyone just humors me about the fibro so I am hesitant to see anyone without a good reference. I called my GP's office to get him to call in some Prozac since I've taken it before without any problems but after the bad experience I had last week with Wellbutrin he wants me to come in to his office ($$$). This really drives me crazy! It's not like there are any tests he can run to give him any other answers....I HAVE FIBROMYALGIA AND I AM DEPRESSED about IT!!!!!! What on earth is seeing me in person going to do? Oh that's right, he makes more money while I can barely afford to buy diapers. Sometimes I think Doctors are just as bad as Lawyers! (no offense to anyone in the profession). I'm sorry this is so long-winded, that is one thing I can still do. Hopefully I will find the help I need soon. Thanks for all your help!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1279
   Posted 1/29/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Cindy30 and Welcome-

Sorry to hear that you are not able to get the proper help right now- I know that is hard, I have been in your shoes many different times in my life. I think the Dr. needs to see you because if he is treating you for depression he needs to cover his behind. I know that you can't afford it right now, but getting the depression treated is more important than going further in debt. You need to somewhat function until you can see the psychiatrist and get the ball rolling. Until then vent, vent, vent, do whatever it is you have to do and we'll be here!

Let us know how you are doing -


Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, TMJ, Arthritis/neck, SAD
Zoloft, Tylenol 4000 mg., Darvocet  

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1014
   Posted 1/29/2009 12:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Aww Cindy.. just wanted to give you a ((((hug))) after reading your last post.

Fibormyalgia, 4x Lyme Disease Survivor, Depression, Anxiety Disorder, Dyslexia, 2 Lumbar Disk Herniations, Allergies, Bi-lateral Carpal Tunnel. 
Meds = Elavil, Tramadol, Lipitor
"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - author unknown

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