Dear Danielle and every one else feeling as I do right now. I don't have a hubby (well not on hand anyway), but my sons, I think, think I'm a drug addict. As does my pdoc. He doesn't (pdoc) believe in Fibro, he says things like "this pervasive pain thing you talk about, if you just exercised more, got off the pain meds, were more active, meditated, do yoga, stand on your head and eat popsicles," etc. etc. ya'll know what I mean. I swear, if he starts on that in our next appointment, I'm going to tell him tanks doc, but I need help not judgement. Do you think I would spend my nights rolling around in bed trying to find a comfortable position, that doesn't hurt like h___, if I had a choice. Don't you think I'd be going back to school and finishing my Masters, if I could concentrate on one thing for three minutes w/o totally forgetting what I'm doing. Don't you think I'd be out in the workforce bringing home forty bucks an hour, as I was before this DD got the upper hand rather than half starving three weeks of every month on Disability ($740.00 per month). Do you for one minute think that I would agonize over buying produce which I love, rather than eating salty foodbank guck every other day, if I had a choice here. Then I am going to say, thank-you, but "no thank-you", I'll just take my little bag of pills which you seem so alarmed about and toddle off to a doctor who will listen to what I say, rather than sit in judgement b/c I used two or three more muscle relaxers than I was supposed to because my world is crashing at my feet and it's all I can do to wash a load of clothes, much less fold them. I turned fifty-two, this week, thank-you. My boys are raised by me, dead-beat Dad, one was ADHD, the other has a learning disability, I worked two jobs, went to school part-time, had Fibro even then but when I was hit by a truck, my fate was sealed. It was the absolute last straw. So since I don't have to care for children anymore or go to work every day, or even drive much, I get someone else to drive if I'm in a flare, or I stay home. Yup, I totally understand what ya'll are talking about. Sometimes I'd like to have a water pistol in my pocket, and squirt them everytime I hear all those you shoulds, woulds, must, have to, try, etc.
Hypothyroidism, Fibromyalgia, Facet Joint Syndrome, High Blood Pressure, menopause, Migraines, Chest Pain, Anxiety and Depression/BiPolar II
Synthyroid .075mg., estradiol.5 mgs., Amyltriptilene, 100mgs, bedtime, Tylenol 3 PRN (six-eight, daily), Valium 7.5mgs. daily prn. Flexeril, prn (not so helpful), Zoloft,150mgs., Zomig approx. 12 per month, prn., Meds for High Blood Pressure, vary.