Hi Lovely People,
I need to vent for a minute here. Hope that's ok!
So I've been in a bad flare for about
5 days or so now-feeling sore and burning and chills and like I have the flu. Ugh. I got really depressed this time around because I had been feeling so much better without the sugar in my diet (I'm working on almost 3 weeks sugar free now, though! Yeah!). I thought I'd really stumbled upon something major that might really make a difference in my pain, so when this flare reared its ugly head I got so, so upset because I realized that this dd isn't ever going to just "go away" no matter what I do or do not do or what I do or do not eat, etc.
Which leads me to my complaint! I am SO SICK of people telling me "oh, you just need to do "..."" or, "oh, you just need to stop doing "..." and you'll be all better!" With my father, it's always "Oh you just don't do enough high impact cardio exercise! You just need to sweat it out!" Other people have said, "Oh you just need to lose weight" or "Oh, you just need to stop smoking" or "Oh, you just need to get more sleep" (that ones my favorite. I want to scream-don't you think that if I COULD sleep more, I WOULD!? arg!)
Anyway. So I've been flaring really bad, and this morning when I got up I started crying because I am just so sick of all of this! So what does my husband do??? He says "I think you're in a flare because you ate that pizza the other night". And to make it even worse, he had this smug "I know everything" look on his face when he said it! OMG I wanted to SMACK HIM!!!!
Now, please know that I love my hubby. I really do. And I know he's just trying to help and I know that when I started to feel better without sugar he thought he was seeing "the light at the end of the tunnel" so to speak, too. I know he wants me to feel better, but my gosh, I don't need to hear that sometimes, you know? Fibro does whatever the **** fibro wants to do in my body, and although yes taking care of myself-eating right, exercising, cutting down on smoking, etc. are all very good things that I'm sure are very beneficial to my fibro body, they aren't the end all be all to everything!!!
In all fairness to my hubby, after he said what he said and I started crying even harder and yelled at him that you know, that really doesn't help!! he did pull me into his arms and say he was sorry and how he hates seeing me in pain because he loves me and wants me to feel good. So that helped a lot (sometimes I just need a hug and a bit of love, you know?) but after he left and the kids went off to school, I did start fuming about
people and their "well intentioned advice". I know people mean well-they aren't trying to hurt me or tell me what to do or pretend that they know everything. They ARE well intentioned in their hearts, but sometimes it just doesn't help. Sometimes I just want to be able to vent and have it not mean that the person I'm venting to has to "fix" the problem.
Granted, I know men tend to be "fixers". And I know that with my hubby especially he just wants to help and I know that it has to be very hard and frustrating for him to NOT be able to just "fix" me, so I am not angry at him. I'm just...I don't know what I am. I'm just tired. And achy. And cold. And sick of all of this.