I was in a similar situation about 8 years ago with my dad. They found a mass on his brain that turned out to be cancer. He actually had lung cancer and it had spread to the brain. He was still able to walk and lead a pretty normal life at first, but the doctors only gave him 6 months to live. Dad went to his lawyer and gave me power of attorney a week later.
Before he got worse, my brother and I talked to him about selling the farm and moving to the senior appartments in town so he would be closer to everyone. It was an older farm house that needed alot of work. Half the time he didn't have water. It worried us that he lived out there by himself and we knew the day was coming that he wouldn't be able to. Dad agreed and decided to just auction everything and he really loved the 4 months he lived in town. He was the kind of person who loved to talk and visit and he got to do that. He was very happy in his new home and I know he wished he had moved there years earlier.
When things got too bad, my husband & I moved him into our home and had a blessed year more with him. It was such a hard time, but my sisters made it worse. They were upset with my brother & I for letting the house go to auction. They were mad because they thought the house should stay with the family. (Before deciding to auction the house, my dad had asked my brother if he wanted the farm. He wanted my brother and his wife to move out with him and then take over the farm when he was gone. My sisters had the guts to go out and complain to him that it wasn't fair, so the house went to auction)
I had never been so mad. To me, that was my father's home and if he wanted to give it to my brother, then that was his right. It was touch and go for a few years until things blew over, but I still think about what a terrible time it was.
So sorry this is so long. I wanted you to know that I understand what you are going thru. I was the one who took care of dad, ran him to appointments, fixed his meals, etc. All thru this time and after, I had to put up with angry sisters who were more worried about the money they might lose than helping with dad. My brother helped all he could, but he worked too many hours, so was just able to come visit once in awhile.
You are doing a wonderful thing for your dad & his wife. I understand why you would be so stressed and upset. Is there any other family or friends that might be able to help you out a bit? You need a little time for yourself to relax and think about yourself for once. Things will get better and one day you will be happy that you were the one to be there for your dad and his wife, but you also have to not over do!
I will keep you in my prayers that you have the strength to do what you need to do and that you start feeling better! Prayers for your dad & his wife too!
Never regret something that made you smile!
Fibromyalgia*Osteoarthritis Of Spine*Sleep Apnea*RLS Depression*Chronic Fatigue*Allergy/Sinus*Menopause Spurs on Spine